I keep hoping he’ll finally just say “fuck it” and walk out to this:

Remember how hard you laughed the first time you watched the episode of ‘Seinfeld’ where George said “Jerry, just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.”

Stadium security attempted to find the beer thrower, but everyone in that section stood up one by one and and shouted “I AM TAWWMY FROM QUINZEE!”

A) She doesn’t say much

I’m excited for this to be added in the new Madden 2020 career mode. “Tap X repeatedly to toss the ottoman!” 

I left $60 in an ATM yesterday, so I know exactly how he feels.

Sometimes I wonder: what if I’d been in a coma for five years and this is the kind of headline I’d wake up to?

The GOP is in the process of forcing a rapist onto the highest court in the land by refusing to take “no” for an answer. Chilling. 

This.

He makes Chris Christie “clean the Jersey turnpike” for him.

What tickles me the most is the fact that, without a doubt, Secret Service members noticed it and chose not to say anything. 

And yet it’s the least embarrassing thing he’s done as President.

Gee, if only something else big happened in 2008 which would cause college and high school graduates to not find employment and not have the income to leave the nest and get a jump start on their lives, home, family, wealth, savings, and retirements.

Lindsey.........

Wide shot. Every. Single. Woman.

Naw. She worked in the Bush White House. She knows how to be a compliant mushroom - happy in the dark and cheerfully fed shit.

This Simpson’s joke about a ridiculous lie doesn’t even give go far enough to ridicule the lie Haley is trying to sell here.

Well you see, clicks were down 13% on Monday and something needed to be done.

That entire statement is incredibly damning, and this is also a woman who’s worked in the government, has security clearances, etc.

Tell me again how Avenatti isn’t helping.