That's a comment collision, Danny.

“I understand college very well.”

Bbourbon is being held hostage?

So this is 12-13 years ago, but still SO goddamn cringey, it’s one of my best-worst memories.

A/S/L?

Because Pay-to-pee is a thing. Capitalism!

Neighborhood children are equal parts defenseless and delicious. So I hear. Allegedly. From online.

I saw that movie. My unfortunate offspring DEFINITELY doesn't have the gene pool to look like Josh Harnett.

Murder?

My loud-ass meower would like a kitten. Can you mail me a kitten? Can kittens be mailed? They’re weird; seems like they'd actually enjoy that...

Dating SUCKS. So hard. Just went on my first first date in a decade (was in a relationship for seven years, but was with friends and friends of friends before that, so the whole ‘first date’ wasn’t a thing)

Amusing anecdote for a not amusing situation: my company did a live-time active shooter drill two weeks ago; they explicitly said in bolded capitals that the ‘fight’ option was NOT on the table.

Three words: Giant. Butterfly. Nets.

“It was Disney-themed, but not tacky at all!”

Grandma says something suuuuper racist within the first 3o min. Like, so bad even racist uncle Bob cringes. It's a given. Record it for history and also YouTube.

For the love of all things holy and not, let her kneel while being sworn in. Half the committee would have heart attacks on the spot.

Black male: Here’s video footage of me 2500 miles away during the cr...

Typical libdard, trying to cheat the Guillotine Union outta jobs!

Government: where "I forgot I was drinking" actually works.

Wait...aren’t hobos just Soylent Green?