He lived... to blame the car.

George Glass.

“According to ABC, one parent posted on social media that students should respect Ryan because he has a fancy job, no matter how much you may want health insurance someday.”

Kids don’t love candy the way I love hard core Willow in that episode. See also the Lumen season of Dexter.

Ryan Seacrest is upset that Katy Perry is being offered way (waaaay) more to do American Idol than he is. [Page Six]

me too

BS charges like this is why I’d support a change to self defense laws to include child abuse as a legal reason for use of deadly force. Especially when in the act.

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist.

I’ll take 5, please!

Top Gun II: Bottom Gun

Japan’s police use a standard paint scheme nationwide so they’re a lot easier to spot:

I love that his Twitter bio literally reads:

oh, TOP gun.

nobody puts baby in the courier

lol:

I read this as “titties.”

In Sean Connery’s voice.

Sorry.

This is pretty much effectively me when it comes to my favorite stuffed animals and baby blanket:

With HA HA HA written across it.

And like who DOESN’T feel a little bit better knowing they’ve got a solid backup plan?