I’d install a giant ramp instead, so people would just fly over my house and land in the neighbors back yard.

Haunted kale.

It’s haunted so I’m sure that will put some people off.

Economies of scale. 

Don’t let the door hit you where the good Xenu split you!

The J-rod is part of an overhead cam assembly, isn’t it? Can we get Raphael or Torch here to help out, too?

Suddenly, Lamborghini’s tone changes. A softness arises. “I’m sorry for speaking to you that way.” Lamborghini utters sheepishly. “That was wrong.” Your entire mood has suddenly transformed; it’s as if the world has stopped spinning. The red mist clears from your head. You hesitate, because you know Lamborghini has a…

Lamborghini will fight you. Lamborghini will fight your whole goddamn peasant family. Did you look at Lamborghini wrong? Who do you think you are? Lamborghini brought a goddamn laptop to the fight. Lamborghini is recording this. Lamborghini is going to use a f*cking satellite to quantify the speed, acceleration, and…

his wife, an American actress

That’s not shitty! I’m antisocial and also get things done way better when drunk. I’ve learned to motivate/bribe myself with (moderate!) online shopping or movies. Still a work in progress though.

Holy shit! Congratulations!

You got this. <3

I got sober at 29. Drank 100 drinks a week on average. THIS close to death. Stunningly, no pathology. (I’ve got viking DNA. People live 90-100 y/o in my family) More importantly, I quit drinking in my TWENTIES.

It’s like we’re twins. I do the exact same thing, not whiskey though, just beer to help me sleep. :(

You sound like me. And it’s so hard when I have nothing else I can do that’s worthwhile, have isolated myself from everyone, etc... but drunk me is more fun and happy and sociable, a great cook, kept my place immaculately clean and well-decorated, etc. it’s hard to fill the void, especially when I feel I’ve already…

Yea... same. Been trying, but life has been falling apart from so many angles, feels like being shitfaced is the only way to keep from constantly curling up alone and sobbing - you know how it is... Recently diagnosed with fatty liver too, and reading the George Michael thread of people who died of it in their early…

I was also an anti-social drink-aloner. My method of recovery is AA, which works really well for me but I know is not the thing that works best for everyone, and by working the 12 steps of Alcholics Anonymous I’ve really learned where that anti-socialness comes from and how to be equally happy in a crowd of strangers,…

I tried a voluntary outpatient sort of group therapy deal...the class was interesting, and probably helpful, but maaaan...I couldn’t go back when I realized that the other patients had some seriously fucked up shit in their lives.