Because the materials used in so many modern clothes are ALSO utter shite.

“Come hither, dear hubby, for I am about to boa-constrict that dick” is how celibacy starts.

I can’t imagine Dotard’s handlers are going to let him grant a pardon, but if he somehow manages to do it despite EVERYONE telling him not to, I won’t be shocked if he now feels empowered to fire Mueller.

Here, have some free nightmares!

They’ve submitted a formal petition to have the rakers dispatched.

It’s also how fucking wildly sneaky lawyers are in how they come up with shit like this. I was in an accident that was ‘in a school zone.’ Not exactly sure what he did, but the lawyer got it dismissed because the town’s weird old zoning has the entire, miles long street zoned as a school zone.

Brought to you by the great state that also introduced you to the cast of Jersey Shore.

Things you never knew you didn’t want to know!

I watch porn for the articles.

The guy that owned the restaurant I worked at in college would sit up front and watch porn on his phone. It was not subtle.

The exciting new lineup from Unspecific Motors

The diversity of their utterly stupid head wear is impressive. And also stupid.

You’ve never heard of Angela Nagel, author of Kill All Normies and who’s been written for Jacobin, The Baffler, and as recently as last week, been published American Affairs?

See also: playing Monopoly with family

Mandatory juggling lessons.

“Hold on, hold on...I propose that you eliminate the babies first. Right here in front of everybody. And make it long and drawn out...”

“Rest assured, we’ll sexually harass all the women who may or may not have been involved in this incident. Even more than normal, that is.”

Down in Salem, we called you lot Bostieagans. Still not really sure why.

The Dotard camp: where it’s either everyone in the campaign colluded or nobody did. No in between.