See, a NJ accent would make sense around here. Our commercials use this weird-ass Marisa Tomei a la My Cousin Vinny accent, which makes ZERO sense.

This dumb motherfucker’s OWN HOUSE ratted him out.

I love how they insist it’s to make their cult talk to women and procreate, wherein reality, it’s just leading to frustrated mothers having to wash crusty bed sheets more often.

Just wait until this time next year, everyone’s going to suddenly have a million reasons to hate Warren and Kamala Harris and the ritual eating-of-our-own will commence.

Smash Mouth? Smash Mouth.

Currently at work, so I had to compromise.

My ex and I split 7 months ago; she took the dog (which I’m 100% fine with) and I got the cat (which I’m not fine with. THEY’RE BOTH HER PETS!)

Except when defending my faults poorly.

Those ads feel like they popped up out of no where 2 weeks ago and have been running every other commercial since. Still can’t figure out why the fuck they chose that particular woman with that particular accent. Like, dafaq Springfield Mitsubishi.

Donald Trump will talk and tweet about hydrogen airliners for 3-4 days and suddenly it will become a reality for the MAGA crowd.

He’s going to get there and it’ll be a Daewoo with MR2 badges on it.

I think it’s a Mitsubishi dealer, but not sure of which one, that keeps running these goddamn ‘it’s a crime to pay more than a dime,’ ads (I’m right over the bridge in Jersey, you’ve probably heard them.)

One of our stores was trying to ask me to dispatch a technician to re-do some of their CAULKING. Needless to say....

What would you say if you met her?

(the one I was driving before accelerated like a pregnant water buffalo)

I support you supporting my ESOP.

Psh, what’s a bit of spousal abuse and holding someone against their will when there’s BENGHAZI!

Soo what would the dependent probability of that happening with respect to the set of the population of humans who are normally distributed (not skewed)?

I really wish I could dig up a Stargate and just dial off this planet.