If you run out of cash

I can think of a Dotard that’s highly concerned where people pee. Specifically in relation to his person.

It’s like regular porn, except the plumber actually fixes pipes.

employees were given a “refresher” course in how to use physical holds on kids,

I feel like there’s a delicious story behind this particular analogy.

*Ahem* It’s pronounced Franken-steen

Fuck that girl, actually :P I told her before we even met in person for the first time, so it’s not like it was a surprise or anything.

I had one date tell me I should be wearing long sleeves (I have a lot of scars). My response was, “Forever?”

Alright I can definitely say I’ve never pulled one of those. So there’s hope! Woot!

You can under prepare for a date?!? Do I need references or something?

And this is why we shouldn’t have let the fucking Dotard talk to North Korea. STOP GIVING HIM IDEAS.

BUT THEY LOOK SO TASTY!

I absolutely refuse to believe horror is real and will assume it’s the first piece of actual fake news ever.

PS I never understand how people think pistols and rifles would have done squat against the Blitzkrieg.

Between that and Tide Pods™, I’m going to die alone.

They only show photos of the sad kids being beaten to death! UNFAIR!

Sometimes I wonder how anti-vaxxers feel about the rabies vaccine.

(and holy shit everything else a Google search for “Dora the explorer meme” brought up)

I’m quickly deciding that, in context of appropriate date-seating, my couch is the best seating. With nobody else there. Except my pogs. They’re allowed to hang out with me.