They were winning 23-3, not losing.

He won $420.69

Scorching hot take there.

"Women can't properly discuss something they've never experienced."

I didn't even know that was a thing!

Also, you know the guy trying to pay for the ticket in weed is going to want you to pack it up before/after the game and share it with him.

Someone hands you an audio recording of everything that was ever said about you in private at girls' slumber parties throughout your middle and high school years. Would you listen to it? What percentage of guys would NOT be absolutely devastated with the results?

Nope.

RESPE6T

So I don't buy NFL branded merchandise or tickets to any NFL games, I don't have DirecTV or the Sunday Ticket package, and don't factor into the Nielsen ratings in any way. I can still watch games knowing I'm not contributing to this awful organization, right? Because, man, football is a hard drug to quit

Apply to Jezebel.

Short and sweet horrifying one. 100% true.

Jesus, that's the worst thing I've read today, and I just got through Kluwe's drivel on "Why Deadspin Sucks."

This is completely false. He still has Florio.

That's not the full email—the rest is boring stuff about family news—but I did not make it up. My dad has very hot sports takes.

It might be the closest Chris gets now to playing with a Jennings.

I still have no clue what Hasidic Jimmy Fallon is doing here, but I'm glad nonetheless.

Riley Cooper: [Wipes Off Blackface]

People in Vegas love the Cowboys because they've made so much money betting against them.

Why not just stop testing for marijuana without making a big announcement? Just stop testing for it, would anyone think 'hey, no one's tested positive recently, what's up?'. If a player gets in trouble for possession, suspend them for being a dummy, but just don't test.