Their theme song.

So you're geeked as hell about the World Cup, cranking out article after article about it, despite it costing billions of dollars that could have been better spent improving life for ordinary Brazilians.

A lineup of aging superstars: they'll be unstoppable!

"Hockey players are too tough to take a paycut!"

Luckily for you, in every single other profession, all bosses and managers are hired and promoted on their intelligence and core competency, not on nepotism or networking.

Q: What do you call an attractive person in Ohio?

I heard you are a douche bag.

Oh God, I'm so glad you asked.

In fairness, seven would be nearly half the current Indian population.

"Nailed it."

Actually, claiming not to know who these guys are is a very common poseur/hipster move.

*Fat Riley

Magary will answer all of these questions for you.

The butthurt is strong in this one.

Pussy-ass bullshit! If this was the NHL finals, they'd have just cranked the heat up another 10 degrees in the arena and gone straight into game 2. They'd have played it swimming in the melted ice, with skates and uniforms on, and they'd never get cramps even if they had a big snack between games.

Pictured: Zach LaVine reaching the apex of his professional basketball career.

Massachew York - Combine the 2 states with the most elitist assholes.

I would suggest Virginia and Maryland (Virgin-land), with our capital being the Capital, but then it would sound like some sort of Jihadist heaven instead of the vehicular hellscape that it is.

I think we can only imagine the alcoholic wintry horror that would be Minnesconsin