Pretty sure I had a nightmare about that one time after drinking too much cough syrup

In my final at bat of organized baseball - 14/15 yo league - I got absolutely smoked by a fastball in the arm. I dusted myself off and made my way to first base without much fuss. Then the adrenaline started wearing off. My arm was throbbing and my head was in the clouds but no time for that shit because the guy…

Kevin from Chicago is a fucking psycho

There are potholes in Philly the size of calderas.

no one = the majority of the world

Vaya Con Dios 

Gruden would rather have a dogshit quarterback that makes incremental progress than a good quarterback that occasionally has a brain fart

Like trying to wrangle two circus bears pumped full of amphetamines 

If you were to rank the best place on your body to hold your sunglasses when not wearing them, from least douchey to most douchey, what would it be?

Jizyah Shorts is ‘90 UNLV

Just checked the box score from last night’s game and it says he batted 7th in the lineup. Why is he never not batting 9th?

a 5-foot-5 kid is brazenly listed at 6-foot-1

As an East coaster I charge the Angels with tampering with my right to see quality baseball. Either stop sucking and make the playoffs so I can see Trout play more than 5 times a year or set him free.

I feel like Joe Lunardi is a smug one-trick pony prick, and I wish he would just go away.

Also, fuck Aloha.

That’s 3 AM stoned college kid cooking

Jim Gray also got weirdly protective of Tim McCarver during the latest Deion Sanders 30 for 30. Like, on the verge of tears protective. What Deion did was pretty shitty but lighten up Jim 

That is just an F5 twister of fists, bad facial hair, sweatpants, and stonewashed jeans

Or, and bear with me here, maybe don’t make stupid shit like Instagram comments part of your “news”?

While I appreciate the variety and intensity of the burns thrown her way, I really think the best course of action is to just call her ‘Tammy’. Forever and always. No creativity needed. Just ‘Tammy’ her ass into oblivion