I don't know what you guys think is so funny. Clearly tits sexual harassment.

I'm not saying I want anyone to get hurt but America's Cup would be significantly improved if they added naval mines into the mix.

sexing the troops is the next most efficient way to help the cause

The guy with the "crap on me" sign just misunderstood when he heard that Christian Ponder often shits the bed.

You should roast some, freeze them, and then use them for sauce during the winter.

My cat is currently perched behind me on the inch-wide back of my chair delicately chewing on my hair. So, no, why do you ask?

As a member of the bar, the only people I hate more than lawyers are law students. Also, he misspelled "remedy." And used bold and underline. Jesus.

+1 *sob*

Oh, hell no. That is all.

The absence of harissa throws everything he has written about food in doubt.

I could give a rat's ass what work Julie Chen has or has not had done but damn she looks young without any makeup!

Haha. Women! Amirite?

If ever there was a time and a place for a plague of locusts, this would be it.

Holy Shit (shortened from Holy-Shit-I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Jesus-Died-For-Your-And-I-Mean-Your-Sins).

Needs more Parade of Nations costumes.

For serious. Looks like it was done by the same folks who do all those Toddlers & Tiaras headshots. All it needs is the creepy enlarged eyes.

I wish Christian Ponder were Trent Dilfer. I think even Trent Dilfer of today would still be an improvement.

I can't pay attention to the advice in this column due to my sudden overwhelming urge to watch the Golden Girls.

"Look, a cat!" said the NFL, running out of the room.

I know, right?