Jesus, listening to Musberger trying to figure out what the hell is going on is painful.

"I see you, girlwonder. I see you looking at me like you are going to snatch this hat off my head."

Minnesotan tornados: now better at throwing stuff than the Twins pitching staff and Brett Favre combined.

@gulag: Those look like the perfect marriage between my love of efficiency and my love of drinking. I want!

My oh my.

@Bevraj of Choice: Heh. A boss that offers you that kind of choice is the boss that turns around and fires you when you choose option 2.

@ursa: Having read opposing briefs that quote poetry, use bold text to make a point, and end sentences with multiple exclamation points, nothing shocks me. And these weren't necessarily written by ambulance chasers.

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: How dare you! How offensive can you . . . oh, wait. That wasn't an euphemism.

@vodkanaut: The only possible joy left for me this season is seeing the Packers left out of the playoffs. So, yes, go Bears!

@femme-bot: I cannot think the phrase "one trillion dollars" without hearing it in Dr. Evil's voice.

@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: He worked hard for that turnover. Showed a lot of guts.

Was the victim just wearing purple or was it a Favre jersey? Because, to be fair, the latter makes me feel stabby, too.

@Rainbow Bright: He opened with telling you that he wants to buy you things? I'm torn between "desperate" and "creepy".

@Trot Nixons Hat: Wait for end of season sales or go on craigslist, where you will find a lot of things that have only been used once or twice.

That Bettis/Franco thing was both awkward and boring.

@BarD: Bourban and ginger beer.

@homer_sexual: What have they typically given your kid in the past? If they are usually more spendy with the gifts it would suggest something has changed in the past year.

@Trot Nixons Hat: Why is Bylsma wearing a fedora? Because it's the Winter Classic! Played outside! Anything goes!

@Sterling Archer: I meant it in the nicest possible way, I swear.

Fuck Canada.