@morninggloria: Yes, the ugly gene has been in vogue for far too long.

The offices I used to work in had cockroaches that lived in the phones. That is all.

@Slatka: Except, of course, a woman who is forced to wear a naqib or burqha is probably less than likely to tell the police that fact. This means the woman is not only being forced to do something against her will, she is going to have to pay for it. That's bullshit.

If I tweeted, my tweet would read: @ehasselbeck STFU

@WhatWouldTebowDo?: Yes, yes she did.

"an only child isn't necessarily a loner, misfit and brat!"

Cocktails: Colin Powell

your whole head becomes one giant swirl of whipped-cream lather

It's clearly a curse because every time a wife makes more than her husband, the husband — completely against his will — is compelled to go out and buy himself a douchebag suit. Poor guys, such victims.

Well, that's the last time the Vogue buyers shop the new collection in the Barbie aisle at Target.

So, Politico has decided to try and freshen up its white, male, center-right, opinion-based political news coverage by trying something new: incorporating two white, male, center-right opinion columnists into its political coverage?

Wow. We are one AP fumble and a clearly erroneous challenge away from an entire season worth of Vikings fun crammed into one half.

How many more times can they say the word "fumble"? It's like they're trying to make it rain . . . .

That was a very Childressian opening series.

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: Pfft. You clearly don't understand women. We liked the ending because it meant the brokenhearted Gordon-Levitt was still available for us. We could make him feel better!

I fully expect the Vikings to lose this game tonight by about seven touchdowns

*If at all possible, do not talk to anyone during the retrograde. Especially about the retrograde.

Toughest "kill, marry, or fuck" choice ever?

Ray Lewis is now doing ads for Old Spice Body Wash.

@jafi: That would be a serious minimum wage and overtime violation there. Among other problems, of course.