I heard, and I was like, "What? I thought they were already married..." #oblivious

omg, thank you so much for this. I'm listening to the most recent one, and I can't stop laughing. I'm going to forward the tumblr to my sister and tell her that this makes up for every bad birthday present I ever gave her.

I laughed my ass off at some of these until a friend told me that the people were probably being serious when they had them taken...it seriously hadn't occurred to me...

Charming.

My cat will try to take my arm off for a cinnamon raisin bagel. Or microwave popcorn.

I'm sure that Kim Kardashian is *thrilled*...

Was it really only a year? I remember her being this sweet little thing on Survivor, and then, later on, someone pointed out to me who she was, and I was so shocked. I said, "There's no way that annoying woman is Survivor Elizabeth!" When I heard she was going to FOX, I thought, "Of course she is, where else would she…

There's a book?

I love the stock photos. I feel like I've actually made some of those faces while editing:

Creepy! I like your stories, Mark.

She can't find anything better on which to blame the moral decline of the nation right now? She's slipping.

Who is *she*, to tell any father how to label what he is going though? Didn't you just do the same thing?

omg...I'm going to laughing about this all day tomorrow. You WIN!

That "essay" makes me hope for Lindsay's sake that she didn't actually fuck him. Ugh. *shivers*

That "Too Close" story reminded me of that "Arrested Development" episode where Michael and his niece sing "Afternoon Delight" at a kareoke party and Michael suddenly realizes that he's never *really* listened to the lyrics...

I wish we could have done something like this for my mom.

GWTC: We love you, but WTF?

I can't see the clip (Canadian) but it sounds like he handled himself well. It wouldn't have shocked me if he hadn't, though - it seems like an awful lot of politicians go on Colbert absolutely unprepared for the interview. It's like they've never seen the show before. And Colbert's got them tongue-tied and saying, "I…

My mother's dead. Fuck off.

And aren't you just charming? Go crawl back under your rock.