Mike Huckabee reminds me of a kid who is currently in one of my grad school classes who acts like everything he says is solid gold and yet somehow misses the fact that teachers are clearly holding back some serious eye rolls.

Rick Perry is what happens when an idiot loses brain cells. I’m assuming his entire purpose on this Earth is to make the rest of us feel better when we do stupid shit. In the words of Hollywood Henderson, “he’s so dumb he couldn’t spell cat if you spotted him the ‘c’ and the ‘a.’”

If it was Manafort, why would they bother sealing the indictment? They took his passport and told him to expect an indictment. It would make far more sense to seal the indictment if there was a reason they didn’t want whoever is being indicted to know about it.

He is a jar of mayonnaise that somehow managed to reproduce.

Do you ever just look at a person and think “I literally cannot picture you as a sexual being.” Because that’s what I think when I look at Jared. I can’t imagine him having sex. He’s like a really weird-looking Ken doll.

tbh I spent a solid 2-3 minutes trying to figure out what number that Roman numeral would be before it occurred to me that “n” does not fall anywhere within the Roman numeral scheme.

I am quite sure that, in addition to his general spoiled brattiness and laziness, Donald Trump is a giant coward. Everything about this whole scandal makes me think that part of the reason that he tried to get deferments instead of trying to get some cushy position he could brag about is because he thinks that if…

This is what I was trying to say, only better phrased. I was thinking of the Comey incident too. Either Donald Trump is actually recording all these conversations and wasn’t paying the minimum of attention required during the Nixon era to figure out why that’s a bad fucking idea or else he’s lying through his fucking…

Am I the only one that wants to know what his so-called “proof” is? I mean, I’m sure it’s a pile of steaming hot bullshit, but I want somebody to call him on it. I mean, he’s basically implied that he records all his conversations (paging Robert Mueller) so I really want to see someone press him on that.

“No one even asked her” is Ivanka Trump’s entire life story in one sentence. God I hate her. I don’t know who I want to see in jail more; her or her asshole father.

She wasn’t even a blonde then anyway. She was brunette up until she was in her late teens/early twenties. Color me shocked that a Trump is lying.

Oh, that is sad to hear. He was always so likeable on Project Runway and his Pam Grier look was one of my all-time favorite looks. My thoughts are with his family.

Alternate proposal: Let’s All Roast Megyn Kelly Today. Every guest booked on that show gets an hour to point blank rip Megyn Kelly to shreds with the coldest, meanest truths they can come up with. I would DVR the shit out of that.

It wasn’t sexual harassment, but I once had a coworker grab my wrist and yank me right next to him because I had something he wanted. He absolutely never would have done that to a man or probably even an older woman in the office. I told him to let go of me right fucking now and my (female) boss who was also in the…

As I have never been a Real Housewife follower, nor do I give one shit about her kids, I have been never really given this woman a lot of thought. But she made me so mad in this episode. First of all, she was a guest judge. Her role was not actually to have anything useful to say, it’s to bring in viewers who want to…

I wish I could star this a million times. Anthony Bourdain is a fucking high and mighty asshole. And I see him and his “I’m so persecuted, everyone hates me” follow-up bullshit.

Oh God, what if he thinks the Senate Intelligence Committee is there to measure people’s intelligence?

I’m assuming she’s going to try the Camille Cosby defense: “I knew he had run around on me, but I never realized what was really going on.” I didn’t believe Camille Cosby and I don’t believe her.

I highly doubt he has EVER under ANY circumstances been America’s richest man. But in 1999? No fucking way he was even close. Especially not seeing as how Bill Gates had Microsoft money by 1999.

Oh JESUS I completely forgot about court packing. What keeps it from happening? Norms. Which have been falling by the wayside faster than we can remember what the fuck those norms were. Our best hope is that Trump just doesn’t find out that’s an option.