I think it’s basically a fucked up version of smizing. Like, they’re trying to project charm and warmth and instead it just makes you think that the voices in their heads said something particularly amusing.

One particularly devious friend of mine suggested hiding old shrimp in the Oval Office curtains. I figure the only problem is that it would work better if people weren’t trying to hide amongst them.

“Believe me,” he added, “there’s no collusion. Russia is fine.” It’s fine. Everything is fine.

A new one!

Ok, is it just me or do they kind of look alike? Like, I would have believed it if someone had told me that was her cousin. What I guess I’m saying is that I find it completely unsurprising that Taylor Swift is attracted to herself.

I assume they’re intentionally trying to be confusing with Whole Woman’s Health Texas. For which I offer them this hearty one fingered salute.

I know one really nice, non-insufferable person who refuses to say that she went to college at Harvard. She doesn’t even do the “school in Cambridge” thing. She just says “when I lived in Boston.” Because, as it turns out, when you get far enough away from your school years, nobody gives a shit where you went to…

I only wish I believed that. Too many of these districts are gerrymandered to high Hell and the Republicans have done a terrifyingly good job of pulling the wool over the eyes of their constituents.

I don’t know, if they invite Mika’s dad back on to hate on his future son-in-law to his face, that might be pretty excellent television. I’d watch that.

Also, how much should it worry us that even the Republicans think that Donald Trump is an unstable nutjob being kept on the sanity train by a woman whose sole qualification is that she’s his daughter?

John Oliver once made a joke about a magazine called Punchable Face Weekly. I think by now they’ve got enough material to move up to a daily.

Except worse because he’s A LIBERAL. /s

Yep, this looks about right.

I consider myself to be the color of a lump of pizza dough that someone lightly baked. White, doughy, and oddly tan in certain spots.

Of course, if he actually goes ahead and does something he threatened in a tweet, I know you’ve got to respond. If that happens, all I ask is that you make sure to practice your aim beforehand because I’d like to go out in the initial blast and just be done with it.

Yeah, unless he does like psychics and clearly claims that his whole act is for “entertainment” purposes only, I’m inclined to take his shtick as part of who he is. Even when Stephen Colbert was playing “Stephen Colbert” he made it fairly obvious that he was a different guy in real life. Alex Jones has done no such…

What’s your budget like? I swear by Cole Haan. Most of their shoes have the Nike Air footbeds, so they’re super comfy. They will set you back, price-wise, but they’re high quality. If you’re looking for something more budget friendly, I would look at Naturalizer or Clark’s for some basic work-appropriate footwear.

It’s gotten to the point where even seeing golf on the TV gets me growling.