You know what fucking infuriates people who tell me that I’m going to Hell? To very calmly reply “No I’m not. When I die my body will slowly decompose, returning to the earth and eventually disappearing. But I’m very glad you have the concept of Heaven to comfort you.” They cannot handle that shit. It’s my only reply…

“We know people think it’s wrong, but we think it’s hilarious so how can we get away with it anyway?”

Yeah, I don’t know any pimps who wear ill-fitting khakis. Like, if you’re gonna do this, please go full-tilt and go with the classics.

I’d even be willing to do it mostly sober if it meant that most of the downticket races followed, resulting in a change in the Senate, and I’d do it stone cold sober if I got that plus a live feed of the Republican leadership as they watched the election results and realized that they were about to lose power in a…

Ok, how about this: would you sleep with Trump if it ensured that he would drop out of the Republican race and run in the general as an independent?

I gotta be honest...I don’t think Donald is the boogeyman worth making this sacrifice for. I don’t think he’s electable in a general. And while Ted Cruz is basically pure evil wearing a poorly fitting skin suit, I don’t know that he’s electable in a general either. Rubio is the one I’m worried about. He looks sane-ish…

Love Samantha Bee. And yes, the GOP thinks they can win this way because they figure if they subjugate everyone who isn’t a straight, white male then they can win into forever! Their strategy is predicated on taking away our equality.

Seems like your classic bargain with the Devil. She got what she wanted - she’s married to a guy who was an icon, she’s an absurdly wealthy woman, and she has power behind the scenes - but now the time has come to pay. Although someone mentioned many threads ago questioning how much she might have actually known in…

Hey John Kasich, from one (fictional) politician to another (real, but very stupid) politician:

I don’t know, I’m sorry Demi’s had to go through everything that she has, but she also seems like kind of an asshole in general and this time in particular.

I’m alternately really proud of myself and really freaked out. I just finished applying to law school. I’ve been accepted by my safety, but I’m waiting to hear back from the others. My top choices are all stretch schools, so I’m constantly checking my email and freaking out any time I see any email from any .edu…

Since we’re discussing rumors and speculation and this is all coming about because of the tribute to James Burrows, can we talk about one I vaguely remember hearing about? I remember something about Will and Grace and how either Debra Messing and Eric McCormack had hooked up and she thought it was more than it was or…

Do you think he just assembles his tweets out of Google Alerts and a Boggle board?

I’m afraid there may have been some confusion. I was being sarcastic. I know it can be difficult to get financial aid if you are too poor to outright afford college but make too much money to get any financial assistance. I’m sorry that was your experience.

Ah, the trolls have arrived. How delightful. I’ll just keep quoting Donald Glover. “Every guy has a ‘crazy girlfriend story.’ Why don’t women have crazy men stories? Because if you have a crazy boyfriend, you gon’ die.”

Well, I think it’s naive to assume that he can simply raise minimum wage by fiat and not trigger at least some kind of inflation. I say it’s naive because if you look at world history, specifically countries like Germany and Greece where you have the government that tried to force economic change through fiat and it…

Our view of what housing costs is so skewed. I see a three-bedroom house listed anywhere north of the Ship Canal Bridge and still within the city limits for $400,000 or less and my first thought is “damn, that’s so reasonable! I wonder what’s wrong with it.”

I WANT THEM TO LEAVE. I used to love Ballard, having picnics by the Locks and wandering around Market St. and now it’s just condos and insufferable hipster bars.

That is literally the exact phrase I used. I will vote for whoever the fuck I think is best qualified to run this country.

Are you me? I grew up here in Seattle, I have a decent job, but because of what the tech industry is done, the only way I’ll be able to afford property is to inherit. I hate that I feel forced to move away from my family, but the tech bros have made this city too expensive and less Seattle-y.