I’m totally with you. Remember that time that Jessica Simpson was apparently The Curse That Felled Tony Romo? Or how Ciara and Russell Wilson not hitting it was the cause of the Seahawks trouble this year? I’m not saying #AllFootballFans or whatever but there are definitely at least some football fans who jump…

I look at it this way: my parents are just part of my squad. Like, I’ve got a friend who isn’t afraid to kill some truly gruesome spiders, a friend who knows all about computers, and so forth. My parents are one hell of a fearsome negotiating team, so why not take the proffered help and learn from people with way more…

I had the exact same thought. Either she overused the blur tool or you could put a dipstick into her foundation and get a reading.

My first reaction upon reading this was “Would at least be better than Scalia, Thomas, or Alito.”

I would 100% watch that. And, if it helps, I’m in the 18-49 demo.

V. revealing. Such great info.

THIS TRICK. Look, our veterans have a host of issues and they should absolutely receive the best medical care. But, as many others have pointed out, Obama has pushed for that and her party has fought against expanded healthcare because “taxes are bad, mmkay” or some other myopic bullshit.

Shit, that would be so cool. bbl, gonna go tweet incessantly at Rachel Maddow until she becomes my bff. I know she’s in a relationship so I’m not trying to homewreck.

Also, do caps make a difference? Is af a different number from AF? I would read the shit out of your paper

Ok, is it just me or does he look like Rachel Maddow’s little brother? Like, whenever they do the side-by-side during the toss from his show to her all I can think is that maybe they’re long lost cousins or something.

as fuck = hella fucks. So, at least ten.

While that’s true, I kind of feel like the other side of the equation is that this guy (whoever he is because seriously, who tf) likes that this chick is so blinded by his stardom and can only think how lucky she is that he picked her. Perhaps it’s the cynic in me, but I’d be willing to bet that he’s into the idea of…

See also: adjusting the margins and font size ever so slightly when given a page count requirement but no word count requirement.

The Academy is old and stodgy. They are the living embodiment of this gif. I wasn’t planning to watch the Oscars because they’re long and boring and if I wanted to spend three hours watching people congratulate themselves nonstop I’d watch the Republican debates.

I think I got the diabeetus just looking at these pictures. Honestly, they don’t even look good to me because I feel like my sugar receptors would get blown out in three or four bites and I wouldn’t even enjoy it.

His bit about going to New Orleans and throwing a parade for shits and giggles was the bit that made me want to know more about him. I think he’s hysterical and does such a great job blending all different kinds of comedy and taking it a little bit towards the absurd.

I just... “low-cost loans.” LOW COST. TO GET A FUCKING LOAN. TO PAY TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE THAT WAS DONE TO THEM BY THE FUCKING PEOPLE WHO ARE SUGGESTING THE “LOW-COST LOANS.” Loans with an interest rate. That the people in Flint, which is already a fairly poor area, probably can’t afford. FUCK. ALL Y’ALL WHO SUGGEST…

My friend and I, in the course of a text, hoped that whatever NSA-er that was reading our texts was super cute, single, and thought we were charming. This led to our idea for a movie - He’s a charming NSA operative reading her conversations/listening to her phone calls. She’s a modern woman who feels like she just…

Occasionally I have done that. I texted a friends something and we got into a really weird conversation (our conversations tend to get weird, fast) and I mentioned something about how I hoped that the NSA was enjoying our conversation and we were definitely kidding about everything said. I never got a response from…