Hey Kasich, your pride in Colorado is a little misplaced. Congrats on being able to finish a single year? In Washington you can complete a two-year degree almost for free while still in high school and then you can finish your four year degree in another two, piggybacking off of your AA.

I’m losing my voice so I’ll just settle for mouthing angrily at my TV.

Marco Rubio just said words about voc tech education. And I agreed with him. Please help. Wine is not enough.

So Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio had a very painful breakup at some point, right? Because they are low-key snipe-fighting like two teenagers who are FINE, OKAY JESSICA?

My favorite part about Halloween is figuring out how I’m going to work in a cape this year so that I can swan dramatically around my office. Placing a file on someone’s desk is so much more fun when you can make a cape-assisted dramatic exit.

I feel much the same. I was having this conversation with my mother last night. There’s being wealthy and then there’s being a Marie Antoinette-esque dick about flashing it everywhere for no other purpose than you can and you’re tacky as Hell. But I’m almost impressed by how spectacularly wasteful this is.

Excuse me, I must do something about all these onion cutting ninjas lurking at my desk.

Reasons I wear leggings: comfy as shit, cheap as shit, doesn’t pinch my pudge, tucks much more nicely into boots, comes in a variety of fun colors.

Ok but like, robes and sandals just super aren’t practical during the winter when it rains nearly constantly.

damn u kinja

My favorite (/s) line of reasoning is that sex for procreation and that’s the only time it should bring any joy to a woman because she’s bringing a baby into the world. However men have natural sexual urges because women are just too tempting and it makes Jesus happy when a wife submits to her husband because that’s…

I just...hate this guy. Fuck him but like, don’t fuck him, you know? This idea that a woman ought to smile while someone is forcing unwanted sexual contact on her is utterly rage inducing.

This is a level of money where I can’t decide if I’m jealous, impressed, annoyed, or some kind of unholy combo of the three.

Ok, here me out - I have a crazy theory. I see the ticket as Rubio-Bush or Rubio-Cruz. Rubio-Bush could kind of work as the conservative version of Obama-Biden (except that Bush is way less likable than Biden) where you have the young minority-getting guy with the old-guard establishment guy. Rubio-Cruz works in the…

I, too, am convinced the Republican nom will go to Rubio. Trump is too uncontrollable so the party establishment will do everything they can to torpedo him before the primaries. Cruz is kind of the same thing. He’s with the Republicans as long as their purposes align with his, but he’s turned on them before and the…

Man, I’d want to go home too if I worked for Donald Trump.

So they made a not-very-good movie with an unclear target audience starring unknowns at best (except for the lead character - I know her from Nashville where she is an aggressively bad actress), and kinda marketed it a little but not a ton. I remain unsurprised that it bombed.

That is such a terrifically, depressingly low bar to clear. Marco Rubio 2016: He’s not Bush, Trump, Carson, Fiorina, Cruz, or any of the other eight million whackjobs running.

If I remember this correctly (or more accurately, if I remember the clip from the Daily Show accurately) the guy who alleged that he’d had an affair with Nikki Haley was hilariously unbelievable. He came across as the kind of guy who is legit scared of vaginas. I think his complete lack of credibility was the reason…

I seriously start shaking with rage every time the Republicans call themselves the party of fiscal responsibility. NOPE. They’re the party of let’s cut all the money except for exactly what we want to spend and then throw a big fat fucking baby temper tantrum if we don’t get what we want.