Oh God, one of my coworkers told me the other day that she “just became beach body certified” and I should join her class because she could really motivate me to learn to love working out. First of all, though I may be fat I do actually enjoy working out. I do not like being approached to buy your services while I am…

I recently yelled to a friend about how “irregardless” makes me go loopy.

More specifically it’s law school and I can’t be a lawyer without it.

I am absolutely sure that the Republicans think women vote for women because women, amirite? We saw it with Palin and they haven’t figured it out yet. In the words of Sam Bee “as a proud Vagina-American...”

Sometimes it’s not a matter of “it’s hard to adjust your spending downwards” or “spending money is more fun.” I have some amount in my 401K and I contribute as I can, but housing, health insurance, car insurance, electric bill, water bill, and buying groceries put a big, big dent in my income because I’m living in a…

It’s hard not to moralize about these things, but my parents worked really really hard when I was a kid to give me a really expensive private school education and send me off to college so I could have a good life, so it’s hard not to feel guilty that I can’t even save enough money to go home once in a while (I’m from…

Bristol both times she got pregnant

He gets the last laugh because he’s still the fucking President and she has to live the rest of her life being Bristol “Sex Makes Babies?!” Palin.

AGREE. He is dangerous. I don’t understand how a doctor can be so committed to propping up bad science.

I literally yelled “fuck you” at the TV so loudly one of my neighbors came over to check on me. :(

Shut up, I’m not crying. You’re crying.

Yep. Almost any time the police detain you or prevent you from leaving you are considered to be in custody.

I’m making the exact same face, Ahmed. Your school is run by idiots. You keep doing you and stay interested in science because that is awesome.

That’s because they’re basically trained seals. Say the right command phrase and they’ll clap their faces off.

I know I needed this until you said it. I would also accept Obama drinking out of Lil’ Jon’s pimp cup with hype man OG Biden in the background. Bonus points if he puts a tanning both in place of where The Crying Pumpkin usually sits.

Oh, I know. I have a friend who lives in Kentucky and she rails against this woman like you wouldn’t believe. It’s pretty entertaining for the first 30 minutes.

I just really love my purses.

Funny enough I am a Kate Spade fan. I own two of her purses. I like them more than several people I work with. I also like Anna Kendrick and Gloria Steinem. Somehow the three meeting makes me like all three less than I did before. Confusing. Must be that new math or something.