You know what’s more acidic that pasta, sugar, starchy grains, alcohol, blah blah blah bullshit and yes, while phosphoric acid is used in a lot of cola sodas do you know what is even worse for your acidity levels?

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

LOL, no.

You... you put gravy on pizza?

Aflatoxins, ochratoxin A, fumonisins, deoxynivalenol (vomitoxin, yay!) and other trichothecenes could all potentially be to blame. I don't understand why mandated testing of grain and cereal products isn't compulsory, given the toxicity of these compounds.

America's awesomely expensive military means it is the "defacto ruler of the world", huh?

Epic.

Psst, I bet she gets helium and hydrogen mixed up all the time too. And probably thinks carbon is icky.

Other completely natural substances that folks should not be putting in their bodies...

I worked on a dairy farm for about 6 months last year. Is was a fantastic experience and I learnt so much, even though I would never be able to do it for an actual living, (mostly the getting up early every. single. day. and being pooped on and kicked and headbutted repeatedly, it is honest work though)...

Hershey's tastes like puke. Overwhelmingly sugary, with a vaguely cacao flavour laced with an overwhelming and unbalanced note of butyric acid.

Does having FIVE Stars 'n' Stripes flags in the background make this super duper patriotic or what?

If humans had to say, give blow jobs to food instead of actually eat it, then... well, no one would ingest this jizz slathered excuse for "food" that this represents...ever.

Ahh, auto spellcheck and predictive text messaging... fucking over people who don't read since forever ago.

This is true, it must be true, all of it is true, all the time, ever.

Yes, she should DEFINITELY be riding an ice narwhal, while waving a sword and fighting off a sabre tooth moose AND and ice dragon. At the same time.

Is she cold? Is she too warm? Is she going swimming? In snow? Did she put sunscreen on? Is the fur waterproofed? Does this come in a snow leopard pattern? Doesn't she need mittens as well?

I love Sam, he is brave and loyal and also has amazing biceps. Team Stucky forever but I do want Sam to make Natasha breakfasts forever also.

I cut myself on lettuce.

This story is fucking epic.