Well folks, I had a baby this week. 10 days before her due date, actually. Labor was extremely fast (less than 1.5 hours from start to finish) and we BARELY made it to the hospital (I seriously almost had her in the car), partly because we had to wait 20 min for my mother in law to show up from SIX BLOCKS away to…

Irish Catholic kid from the south suburbs.  Can confirm.  However, as a contrarian asshole, continuous homer coverage of ND in the Sun-Times and Tribune is why I’m invested in Miami football to this day.

Great story. Now tell us about how you became a Cowboys and Lakers fan. 

Mark Sanchez:  I’d be the perfect QB for your team until Lawrence is available.

It’s working for Joe Biden.

Why are “gender reveal” parties for fetuses still a thing?

Say it again for the people in the motherfucking back

Not for nothing, but as a parent you’re supposed to be caring for, nurturing and protecting your children… not using them as props on social media to feed your own ego. Stop this.

Bevo wishes he could inbreed.

I get this joke but also remember that Bevo is clearly bred for weird-ass features, too.

“That’s the first time he’s done that this year.”

quickly scanned looking for my name.

A Miami resident leaves temple early so he doesn’t miss out on a great deal?

I think this is a GREAT tip. When babies are very young I understand having them in the room. We moved ours into their own rooms at around 4 weeks. We found that everyone slept better after the transition. I think this also prevents sleep problems later on since the kids never get used to sleeping in mom and dad’s…

Here is my tip. Get that kid out of your room. Our kids always spent way to much time grunting and rooting before they actually woke up. Then sometimes they wouldn’t wake up and just go back to sleep. No point letting them wake you up if they aren’t going to wake up enough to have a full feed.

It took 9 months for my son to sleep through the night. It is one of the reasons why he will be an only child.

I have 4, I could afford 4 very nice things for what they cost.

I cut out avocado toast and I now own a second home on the coast of Belize and a helicopter to fly me there.

Exactly, that’s how I’m able to afford a new iPhone every month.

Stop buying avocado toast and lattes!