Ketamine saved my life when I was wounded from a firefight in Helmand Province in July 2013. Its used by US military combat medics/PJ’s/ etc. to treat soldiers/marines/sailors wounded in combat, mostly when they are being medevac(k?)ed from the battlefield to the closest FOB (forward operating base). It’s safer than…

Burnt cheese is EVERYTHING.

My sister in law is obsessed with hand sanitizer. We were out one day and she pushed hand sanitizer on everyone. Then her kid (18mo) licked the bottom of her shoe while glaring at her mother. I head to stop myself from cheering.

As Dr Melfi said, depression is rage turned inward.

Also: “hubby”.

Furbabies

I cringe every time refers to themselves as “mama” in third person, “mama needs a snack” Gross

I’d be worried it was actually John Travolta the whole time. 

Soooo many reasons to take digs at Tori Spelling but this ain’t it.

Moms have it so tough out there. Can’t even make a post about muffins without people flying into a rage. Bless. And people keep asking me when I’m going to start having them.

People who say “kiddos” are pure monsters.

lol i can’t believe i just pretended my kids only eat these muffins in moderation. 

Somebody never went to a Catholic school

Why the heck is someone’s mom writing for the student paper?  

I’m actually going to a wedding in the Keys in three weeks. While I’m not too thrilled it will most likely be super humid and extremely hot I guess I can be thankful it’s not during hurricane season.

And you know what? I didn’t NEED to know how to climb a rope. That was NEVER important.

Ted Cruz is 48.
Jack Dorsey is 42.
Donald Trump Jr. is 41.
Chris Brown is 29.
Logan Paul is 23.

My question is... when did kids get so soft?

There’s one on my drive home. But a small vanilla cone? I’d need a side Blizzard anyway.

Reported for hate speech.