Reading that someone seriously considers Harry Potter a halloween movie shook me to my core. Might be the worst serious take i’ve heard all year.

Where Do You Start Shaving Your Face First?

I start at the balls and stop at the ears.

McMansion Kell.

I don’t think anyone is expecting manners from a person under eight months old.

Don’t. I enjoy it when my husband takes business trips for the alone time at home. Ha.

That last line though. It sounds like most of the grievances people are airing relate more to inconsiderate people who happen to have kids than parents in general.

If your social media avatar is a baby, I’m going to assume you are a baby. If it’s a car, I’m going to assume you’re a Transformer.

I can’t remember where I read this, but I wrote it down for future use, because it was dead on!!!

Stop acting like you’ve just accomplished some amazing feat. You had sex and got knocked up. People do it every day, from the richest royalty to the lowliest scumbags. You’re not special. Like, in any way.

As a parent, I have little interest in posting my child’s picture publicly without their consent.

That’s not stupid. It bothers me too and I’m a parent.

I use my real name on this network and am not fully comfortable getting into a lot of my more significant grievances (which is weird since I see some of my friends with kids complaining about what “all childless people” do all the fuuuuucking time), but I’ve got this one: “Your children are not you. Please stop using…

Teach your kids some goddamned manners. As soon as they are able to walk and talk, they are able to be trained in the art of not throwing shit and laughing, or yanking on the dog’s ear, or dropping trou on the carpet. They respond easily enough to cause/effect conditioning and do not require a “talking to” until they…

Montreal Elbows, FTW.

“Wiley in particular is an interesting choice. He’s not shy about putting his subjects (and himself) on stallions...” so I’m thinking along these lines:

The mere thought that some of the most prestigious honors that this country has to offer are being awarded to that useless piece of dog shit makes my skin crawl.

I assume Trump will just use his future mug shot?

CATALINA IS HOME!!! She arrived yesterday and home care has been going wonderfully. She was originally scheduled to be discharged on the 10th but her night oximetry test had a bad result, so her oxygen needed to be adjusted and her retest went okay. Anyway, she’s here and doesn’t seem to be very stressed out about the…

I feel better just knowing it’s not just me, thank you! I did a massive purge of trucks the other day and we STILL had sixteen.