Its nice to hear Russel didnt throw the hoveboard at any Virgin employees. shows real growth...

THANK YOU. It's a smaller Segway folks. Calm down.

THEY DONT EVEN REALLY HOOVER! Call me when this is a reality:

I was certain they were caramel apples.

She should go back to just smoking weed.

-love it.

Things will be better for you in 2016. The good thing about a new year is you still have that little bit of hope that you thought wasn’t there anymore. Sorry your 2015 wasn’t that great. I’ve had years in the past that I’d like to forget.

Here’s to this year being better than the last!

How many points are they tho?

First they came for the sugar
and I did not care
because I had already given up sugar
Then they came for the carbs
and I did not care
because sourdough is expensive
Then they came for the meat
and I did not care
because really I prefer fish
Then they came for legumes
and there was no one left

“If not me, who? If not now, when?”. I always thought this applied to awakening your social conscience, a kind of call to arms to the self to step up. Never realized it was about starting a diet on Jan 1.

Nope. I am against the idea of resolutions, on principle.

A Long December

I cannot think of a single place to poke a hole in that unassailable logic. What WOULD a T-Rex eat?

Jet fuel can’t melt a brontosaurus.

I bet he still believes in God, though.

I’ve never seen a model of the Eiffel Tower made out of ham, but I’m fairly sure I’d be able to assemble one.

OMG FUCK THIS YEAR WITH SOMETHING HARD AND SANDPAPERY.

Funny enough, I briefly thought perhaps it spelled, Ta-Nehisi (Coates). Like, perhaps her love of black men, weirdly got her conscious. But, no. Why would that be the case? Silly me.

If you think the “sources” are anyone other than Madge’s PR shop, I have some oceanfront property in West Virginia for you to buy.