wait, somebody actually bought “the miracle reinvented hoodie that the razor industry/government doesn’t want you to know about” ??

*startle*

Well, there goes like 1/4 of Jimmy Kimmel’s regular viewers.

Omg I hate how the speedway always shows Fox News. Ugh as if getting gas wasn't bad enough.

“HI! YOU MUST BE HUNGRY”

don’t break my heart

Pizzarat.biz

Jump out of my skin, every. single. time.

If y’all get to get rid of tv’s in taxis, I demand that those startling Exxon pump tv’s be removed.

where can i download one?

no kidding. I was saying a bunch of hosannas about this, but if cabbies have to pay for the removal, I’d rather just put up with the annoying tv.

Pretty sure Jillian Michaels did!

I’m starting my own NYC mass transit company. Basically it’s a pizza shaped bus. Inevitably the rats flock to the pizza bus intending to carry it off to subterranean nethers. The work around? I’ve created an app that emits short bursts of high frequency sound that rats perceive as orders to transport the pizza bus to…

Cheap paper towels are not a bargain. They are bullshit.

This has nothing to do with the tweet beat but, I really need to know if anyone actually bought that goddamn hoodie and if it’s really good.

who will also have to remove the TVs at their own expense.

I live on the East Coast and I couldn’t tell you if it’s a joke or not. But I’m thrilled they’ve decided to do away with those annoying ass TVs. In all these years, I don’t think I’ve ever not turned them off.

Utah, along with the rest of the Southwest, is expected to face—and in some cases is already experiencing—flooding, erosion, increased wildfires, drought, insect outbreaks, a reduction in air quality, and agricultural uncertainty in the coming years as a direct result of climate change.

FACTS HAVE A LIBERAL BIAS.

yeah, relatively constantly going upward.