• “ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”

I am being a pissypants grudge holder. I’m the one who wrapped all the presents, filled all the stockings (my own, too) and then my husband, who I am going to kill in his sleep, decided to let the kids open the stockings this morning when I wasn’t even in the goddamn room. He was playing WOW and decided letting the…

8/10 might watch if I was really high.

If one parent objects to implantation, don’t use them.

I see a huge difference between letting your ex take the embryos to have more kids and donating them to an infertile who you will never see again. Presumably he will maintain a relationship with his twin boys. How awkward would it be to pick up the kids for dad’s weekend and see your other biological kids hanging out…

If they own them jointly and he says no, that should be the end of it. What’s even going though your mind to try and force your ex to have more kids with you?

MN person here. MN bleeding heart liberal who has no true love for the Minneapolis Police Department whatsoever.

I just ate one of their mini bars today. (The potato ship one.) Love them.

This is one of my alltime favorite Lifetime movies. Right up there with Friends to the End, My Stepson My Love, No One Would Tell, Too Young to Die, The Betty Broderick Story and Another Woman’s Husband.

Making chocolate is extremely hard. That’s why so few companies do it but instead get already made chocolate from elsewhere. Here’s a little knowledge, if the place you are buying your chocolate from calls themselves “chocolatiers” they didn’t make their own chocolate. Only bean to bar companies can legally call…

Ohmygod Jezebel, Gawker, ALL OF YOU STOP IT.

Fuck the Internet for the rest of the year. :/

Speaking of tv shows, can everyone go watch Crazy Ex Girlfriend? because a) it’s so much more clever than its name, b) Rachel Bloom is freaking amazing, and c) it allows me to indulge my Santino Fontana obsession on a weekly basis. I’m afraid it will get cancelled because I swear every show I love dies.

I kind of think this works better as an ad for an STD cream. Those look like blisters and pustules on the edges.

Gwen Stefani is a horrible person who is rife with bad taste, highly skilled in cultural appropriation, and unapologetically makes terrible choices. How quickly we forget.

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

The Zebra F-301 is the man among boys of ballpoint pens; writes smoothly, holds enough weight so one can't lose it or misplace it easily while maintaining a lightness that doesn't hamper the writing hand.

The Zebra F-301 is the man among boys of ballpoint pens; writes smoothly, holds enough weight so one can't lose it…

Sometimes, when I’m driving to work, I think that I’d rather have a disabling accident than live through another week of bullshit. Not the same thing? Okay, I have nothing to offer here. Bless it, as we say here.

The amount of attention she drew to herself after his death seemed very inappropriate. I’m sure some of it was unavoidable, but she really did seem to use it as a career opportunity.

look at abby breslin lookin like a fucking bad bitch