My boyfriend and I had been dating for maaaybe a month when, one night during some semi-drunk sexing, he managed to hit the perfect spot to rupture an ovarian cyst the size of my fist that I didn’t know existed. He then had to call his mother - at 3 in the morning - to come and drive us to the emergency room because I…

My apologies in advance for the long backstory, but it is necessary to fully understand the horrible-ness of the situation. I live in a tiny apartment in New York with my wife and son, which, ever since our son has gotten the ability to walk and talk and whatnot already made sex a fairly covert affair (the window of…

Scene- My bedroom, 2 AM, after a bottle and a half of wine.
Players (In a theatre sense, not like, a gross way to say ‘lovers’ or whatever)- My husband and also my me.

We were young, early 20’s, shitty on wine, having laugh sex, where we sort of clumsily bounced around the bedroom, laughing and not totally putting all…

Let’s talk about the less-flashy sex injury: UTIs.

Is this the thread where I share my emotional pain experienced during sex?

What do you think Yolanda is more proud of; her 2 daughters or that goddamn beautiful glass-door refrigerator?

I'm going to break into your house and fill it with cats. So...sorry....imagine this is your dream, but with MORE cats.

I tip according to the normal price of my meal, plus tax. So if I have a groupon for two entrees for the price of one, I tip for two entrees plus tax. If my favorite waitress at my favorite restaurant pours generously and brings me a free glass of wine (which is common), I tip according to the number of glasses she…

This is why I think her entire family doesn’t give a fuck about her. Because if they did, they would want better for their sister/daughter. If my 16 year old sister were dating a man like Tyga, I would immediately interject. Not only on the subject of age, but this “man” has a child for whom my sister was the…

Better Off Ted

Aww, YOU deserve a whole case of champagne and hugs for doing the really important work! I still work with disadvantaged populations and have the utmost respect for those who are “on the ground” with homeless every day. Cheers and I hope you have a relaxing holiday weekend ahead of you :)

“Fart desk” omg I am dying. Kids are so weird and awful.

#teamonlychild #kidsarejerks

We do not understand teachers’ roles in children’s lives enough, appreciate them enough, or pay them enough.

Many years ago, I taught at a small boarding school. One of my students—I’ll call him “James”—was in sixth grade, and he was a difficult, petulant young man.

This is about my twin sister. First day of school, she was in second grade. A boy named Ricky started picking on her. Pulling at her hair, slapping, kicking and terrorizing her. She was scared but nobody did anything. The teacher just told Ricky to stop it but he continued. He was big and an asshole. He grabbed her…

So, when I was in kindergarten, I wasn’t allowed to carry an umbrella on the bus.

Thats so hard. I think it should be a law that periods dont happen until age 13. Maybe 14.

I used to teach elementary art in a really low-income school district near Denver. One student, Franklin, was a third-grader who was homeless and living in a car with his mother at the time. The district and social services were aware and helping as much as possible, but mom was hard to work with due to some ongoing…