The Supreme court struck that argument down by ruling that the death penalty is not unusual. Anyway, death by snu-snu isn't unusual on planet Amazonia, as evidenced by the piling up of snu-snu'd corpses, complete with "I just had sex" shades. Not that the eighth amendment of the United States would have any bearing on…

Parasites Lost does this great job setting up why Fry and Leela just wouldn't work as a romantic couple. I actually prefer it when their relationship is about being outcasts together and not a dating/sex thing. At least not the way the characters are done in the earlier seasons, I know they eventually do the movies…

One of the Amazons has a cameo on the episode where Zapp is dismissed from the DOOP. Maybe that's why?

TV characters in general age weird. I was watching the Good Wife the other day and she hooked up with a much younger character, but they showed them side by side in the back of a car, and Margulies was completely unlined, but she was clearly the older person.

You ever see that Mystery Science Theater, The Giant Gila Monster?

Drinking in the dining room bed. Must be doing something right.

I just voluntarily watched a three minute Taco Bell commercial. I feel so unclean.

I'm not made of roads and schools! If they were really worthy of funding, they'd do a better job of selling themselves and also maybe offer me prizes like I get to cut off five schoolbuses on the new road I help pay for.

Remember that time people paid some guy a quarter of a million dollars to make himself some potato salad? I've been buying my own mayonnaise over here like a chump.

You know you could have just worn your robe backwards, right? And why do people keep assuming I'm male? Is it my strong embrace? The way I smell faintly of aftershave and look like your dad?

I guess, as far as wasting your money, it's no dumber than paying for a snuggie or sending $1 of your taxes toward the presidential campaign fund.

If only this were posted somewhere important, like reddit.

I've heard of some of these!

The story lines are definitely rushed, and the relationship progressions are either static in time or moving at the speed of sound. Basically, the only reason why I watch this show (and other folks in their late 20s/early 30s, possibly?) is because of the mid to late 90s nostalgia. I consider this show the later…

I like how people assume tumblr is this bastion of superliberal acceptance when it's basically a few teenagers talking about their lives and some trolls calling themselves oppressed otherkin,

Pulling oneself up by the bootstraps is supposed to be impossible. That's why it's so commonly advised.

My joke was that I had no idea who Diana Ross is, but I was very convincing and not at all funny. It's good to know my jokes online fall flat just as often as they do in real life. For what it's worth, I didn't grow up listening to motown or soul, but if you ever need a good primer on Fairouz or Sabah, you need only…

I know I wouldn't listen to "No More Tears (Enough is Enough)" if it weren't for Streisand.

If Suri is displeased by something you say, you will already be a jack in the box in the middle of a field.

"I'm so glad Americans respected the Native inhabitants of their land, it's what allowed them to form a troupe of Apache Jewish soldiers and they totally ended WWII by killing Hitler."