Imagine a giant room filled with monkeys. All the monkeys are hungry. Very hungry. You now have the stock market. Don’t get me wrong, if you can make money* doing it awesome for you. I have made money.

Ah yes. Ol’ Bushy. When people say “Trump is the worst President ever” I say “No. Pretty sure Bush nailed that one down for posterity.” 

I’m 6'4" and have driven Delicas and never had a problem with headroom. Might be an issue of the Chamonix sunroof. Or the tester has a weirdly shaped body. Little stubby legs and an enormously long torso.

The swivel seat is so useful when you are kitting up for skiing or chilling at the beach or whatever. Plus if gives you extra space for long items, like bikes.

Would there be more Delica space eggs??

Using cruelly deformed people in car ads to over emphasize car size is not just a commie thing. These munchkin Dodge jockeys probably had voices like they’d been inhaling helium.

I’m already thinking about the end result of that. Ssssspic-Aiiiiii.

A LOT nicer versions available for $85 to 110K range. A LOT NICER, they even vacuumed the carpets and cleaned the engine bay. I’m guessing that cars condition reflects how well it has been maintained. As in NOT at all.

Who buys these things?? $77,000 is an enormous chunk of change for a vehicle. Especially one that gets fuck all mpg and despite it ENORMOUS size has not rear seat legroom to speak of. 

Let’s try analyzing it with the colour out. This version has only melanin identical people (MIPs). MIP1 accuses MIP2 of stealing her phone. MIP1 is freaking out because, that’s what MIPs do when they think their phone has been stolen. Being a fiesty Latina MIP she gets all emotional and lashes out at anything that…

“If you’re one of the first to purchase, you’ll also have the chance to build the car in Tipo 184's workshop—with Anstead’s helping hand.”

The American Government is the best Government money can buy. What a pack of spineless scumbags. And when the fuck is Mitch McConnell going to die? because he’s never going to be voted out. There will be people lining up for decades after he dies, waiting to drop a big, steaming turd on his grave.

My wife’s MASERATI broke down. I wonder how much the dealer will CHARGE HER for the repairs.

It’s a smart move. Chinese consumers are not quite the same as our consumers. There are a fair few who want to be upwardly mobile and trendy with their SUV, but still have haul the occasional pig off to market, or pick up and transport 150,000 wholesale doo dads for their Uncle, three fingers Chang’s manufacturing…

OOh I get it now. Trump has been talking about rich man showers. You know, a shower with three nozzles on each side, a massage nozzle and a monsoon shower overhead and maybe even an alcove shower unit for when you just sit there and .... shower richly. He hasn’t been talking about Johnny Average’s shower with one…

I was idly thinking about a colossal F-350 I saw with the fold out bed assist ladder, and was wondering if ‘electric lift assist’ was in the cards. An elevator. It’s not that far fetched.

Raising kids, weirdly, is one thing that puts serial killers hold. I totally get that, where you going to find the time to stalk, kill, dismember and dispose of victims (SKDD) when you have kids?? I can barely find the time for a dump.

Not really seeing the thrill of sitting in a car (sitting, is the new smoking) for pre-expense income of $2,500/mo. and an apparently opaque payment structure. Definitely not a ‘do this till I retire’ job. BUT as a side gig I can see the appeal. It must be a great way to sell drugs.

97 !! What a man. 11.5 kills. Fastest man alive. Trophies won. Highways named after him. Indira Gandhi blew up his Beechcraft in Pakistan. 4 kids. 2 wives. 10 men’s lives lived to the full.

I’m currently on a personal mission to buy the world’s most comfortable car* Jalopnik already knows what I’m talking about. Toyota Alphard. Not the executive business class seats in the article, but one level down in cloth, not leather. Everytime I sit in any one of the seats entire body says “Ahhhhhhh!!!” Big, softly…