I love your screen name, and your dedication to chatting with your cats.

Yes, I recommend smoked oysters for a salty umami fix. The experience isn't comparable to eating fresh oysters though, so you have to adjust your expectations. But they're a good treat on their own merits.

mm baba ganoush, homemade is the best but I keep hoping to find a reliable source. But no one roasts the eggplant over charcoals, the right way. My single diet consisted largely of cheeses, dips, olives, takeout, and smoked salmon, plus desserts. I recreate it whenever Mr. Caff travels.

Thanks for the scar advice! I've used AHA lotions with sunscreen in the past. I'll try using that in the daytime, with the Mederma PM formula at night, and report back on my progress. In the meantime, I'll work on a good story to tell about it. Suggestions welcome!

I know Sarah loves her designer duds and updos, but I think she expects others to pay for it all. So it just seemed unlikely she'd spring for her own makeup artist. "Dr." Laura, on the other hand, seems like a massive control freak who would only trust a certain person to make her look just right.

Ten bucks says the "conservative superstar" who brings her own makeup person is Laura Ingraham.

This Dirt Bag is a gift that keeps giving. I bet Charlie Hunnam's cat smells awesome, like fur and happiness. Unless he feeds him lamb, cuz lamb makes kitties smell like overripe mutton. Either way, cat probably smells way better than a Brechtian fart battle. Never stop, Jia!!!

Torn! I was looking forward to incredible gorgeous wedding photos of Sofia and Joe. On the other hand, Magic Mike XXL will bring so much joy to so many. Pop culture should not demand tradeoffs like this.

ooh, I have this image if you as Maleficent with horns and contouring and a cat-eye, luring your husband into dark corners with lurking stingrays! Your wedding sounds badass, I love aquariums.

Wait didn't Campbell's make a commercial starring you? you were drinking soup from a mug and tipped over backwards in your chair...

Brilliant!

I am laughing so hard at work now. Also I am terribly hungry. I need spicy salsa soup aka gazpacho! And guacamole!

That's cruel to firefighters, librarians, and humans who need to fortify themselves before struggling into their parkas, dashing to the car, and freezing their nips off on the way home.

That's just science, people.

Carbotarians unite!

I am unreasonably excited for this to be true!!! I think he's getting the better deal, but still, it would be epic.

Aha, with this and the previous story, I realized it's National Blame the Victims Week again... or is it still? Anyway it's only Wednesday, I still have 2 more days of feelin' extra stabby!

I STEAL THE EARS

Ooh ooh tell us about the ones who called it off last-minute! Did they sober up? Did the other party chew with her mouth open and spoil the mood? What happens to make the potential Jumbotron proposal suddenly feel all wrong?

Aww, I feel for you, but also I feel like librarians may only get a moment or two of joy per month. I don't begrudge them their book snobbery. Btw sounds like your library has awesome audio selection!