It is so amazing to be with someone who is a-OK with you being you, and having your own personhood. Yay you! (And yay Mr. Z)

luckily for her, there are plenty of guys out there who find shallow assholes sexy. Just watch Bridezillas. It cracks me up when the drama is between shallow asshole brides and their shallow asshole FMIL. The groom caught in the middle of their shrieking matches should be fleeing / faking his own death, but he's all…

DAD GET OFF THE COMPUTER

this is awesome.

Let she who has never laffarted - at her own joke or anyone's - cast the first stone.

THE EARS!!!! THE PAWS!!!! I need them.

no lies! Smelled *god-awful*

she was the sweetest yet dorkiest cat ever. I forgot, she was the reason we needed a litter box with a hood: she got nervous one time and stood upright while peeing, and the stream hit an electrical outlet and she got zapped. Poor unlucky baby hid under my bed for like a day.

Awww Squeaker! My Beverly tried over & over to go outside & was instantly terrified when she made it. Once she got out without my seeing her & immediately she got her forepaw hooked under her own collar. Evidently she just hopped around 3-legged, until a kindly neighbor spotted her. He was trying to help unhook the…

But you COULD be worried, and then you'd be distracted, and then you would walk out in front of a cable car and be instantly killed! Then the last sounds you heard would be the cable car bell ringing, and an incoming text notification. Just saying.

The rules of blizzard survival in extended adolescence are simple and finite. (And they involve eating canned frosting straight from the container) Any true Jezzie would have known!

momsplaining!

My father-in-law in Ohio gets worried about our preparations for all typesof weather. Last spring, he called when we were supposed to get rain, to ask if I was sure that our sump pump was working. He very patiently explained that even though I could hear it running from upstairs, I needed to go to the basement and…

The fates have smiled on you! Srsly. When they get back from 4 extra days in Florida, there's no way your parents will notice how many empty alcohol containers are in the recycling. Make sure you do at least 1 load of laundry and shovel the front steps / driveway if you have one ... But there's no need to rush it; can…

It's like a test for PNMs: can you manage to look and sound ladylike and ask questions about the sorority, while being tempted with snacks? If you're eating pizza or wings, and getting sticky face and fingers or *gads* BAD BREATH, then clearly you have no sense and can't become a member. If you're a member, you're…

9 out of 10! Would pouf again!

That's an awesome story. I told my mom when she divorced for the 3rd time that I did NOT need ANY of her jewelry; I needed her to be OK. So I asked her to please sell any items she could to help herself financially. Every time I think of the gaudy crap that man bought her, and then refused to provide her anything…

I know! Also reminded me of those NFL cheerleaders' handbooks that were circulated last year. Do we think there is a standard set of rules that gets shared between these 2 groups, with minor tweaks re: color scheme and Potential New Members?

She also reminds me *a bit* of Sophie Marceau. I think she's somewhat working Sophie M's haircut, circa "The World is Not Enough"? But I'm at work and can't go find Gifs to prove it! Help Jezzies!

Time spent singing show tunes & eating pizza is never a waste... Unless it's Dominos pizza, or the hell that is pizza topped with Provel here in St. Louis.