Mark this date on your colander!

We actually have more people than bears now!

What I really regret is not using *womp womp* as the main tag for the post.

Covfefe’s Law.

Umpires: We will keep these wristbands on until we are shown the respect we deserve

Plenty of time to protest. No time to vote.

Woo-hoo! That’s my local little league team. Awesome to see them make deadspin (and win the internet) for that!

I mean, let’s say Whitlock’s Theory On Race is correct, and Kaep isn’t really black. That would mean . . . a white QB knowingly risked his future employment to protest violent systemic racial inequality in America. Which would be bad because why?

Man, you’re missing out on great investment opportunities in gold!

They should go to D.C. and visit the Obamas.

Those Confederate guys are going to shit a brick when they find out a servant refused to go to the White House.

I’m not a “Stick to Sports” guy at all, but I don’t want to see a Jets linebacker defending anything if you ask me.

It has to be so freeing, to give so few fucks like he does. I mean, I don’t give a lot of fucks, but the amount he gives has to be approaching if not actually zero. If you could measure the amount of fucks Marshawn gives in atomic movement, it would be the lowest temperature ever recorded in the universe.

Confederates - the forefathers of the participation trophy society.

I just can’t get over how stupid/arrogant/cheap you have to be not to spend $80 on prepaid phone.

That is, uh, not how websites make money

Boring take. Zzzz

“I’m this big of a douchebag.” -Ian Poulter probably

What a saint his mother must be.