Mine went from dead to in overdrive as soon as I hit actual menopause. It was like my libido was making up for the night sweats and hot flashes and lack of sleep! Enjoy it! I bought my first magic wand when it hit, and it is still my best friend, even though I have an extremely active sex life.

My sex drive died with perimenopause, but holy shit, did it come roaring back with a vengeance when I went into actual menopause. Like, I’m mid-50s, and I have a lot of sex with my gf. A. Lot. I went through the same mourning period as you, feeling like an essential part of who I am was dead, but it did come back, for…

And let’s be honest, why would he have any impetus to try and keep a job if he gets to keep living with her and not having to support himself? He sounds like a juvenile.

You forgot the obvious chin implant.

Dated, long distance (thank dog) one of those people: NEVER at fault for anything, much less any relationship ending. Every ex was a “psycho” or “crazy.” It was never her! She was always the hero, everyone she dated and was “victimized” by always came begging for forgiveness or to get her back because they realized…

I mean, YAY, I’M BACK IN FASHION! I knew if I waited long enough, I’d be cute again.

10/10 would wear.

I’m so grossed out right now. My vagina would sew itself shut immediately. *shudder*

I find it incredibly difficult to believe for even half a second that this old, obese, unhealthy piece of bigoted lard could find his own tiny dick, much less get it up, and you know that selfish germaphobe ain’t going down.

As I am also a lady, you can also tell me hello. Wink at me even. Gosh, I hope a breeze doesn’t come along at an inopportune time...oh, where was I?

Bite your tongue. Men in kilts are beyond sexy, and my gf agrees.

Plus, girl needs a fill, STAT.

Real men are born knowing how to projectile vomit. Less mess for the vomiteur, more for the maids to clean up.

She then reapplied her lippy. Yummo!

Mine:

I’m gonna Pinterest the shit out of the recipe and make some for my birthday this weekend! I’ve got gift cards for Total Wine and I’m not afraid to use them.

Our Kmart was going out of business. It jumped into my cart. It was delightful.

Dammit, our heat index is going to 100+ this next week, and now I want this frosé.

Excuse you. He also installs sliding barn doors on the regular.

*raises hand* I...I need a smaller house. I’m getting ready to downsize my life, though, and the 3000 sf ranch I live in is something I don’t see myself cleaning the rest of my life, especially since it will be just my dogs and I, with visits from my kid when he’s back from college. I have a formal living and dining…