I can only dream that it will be good enough to top Kurt Eichenwald and the tentacle porn tweets.

I can’t wait to someday self-destruct and decide to “tweet through it.” What will it be over? Nobody knows! But it’s exciting to contemplate.

I think I have that couch

Google says it was Iran which leaves me even more confused as to what it was doing at this particular meeting.

What is the sanctions meme even about? Who was he threatening with sanctions? 

Never try, kids. It’s dangerous.

Teddy Roosevelt ruined the game when he took out all the murderin’. Barely recognize it today.

Wow, shocking, the screen grab is from Bill Maher, who woulda thunk 

wow extremely rude to exclude all of Ashley Feinberg’s tweets 

MLB resolving its lack-of-star-power issue by [checks notes] not paying star players like stars.

Absolutely every one of those people is either a serial killer or a liar. Have you ever gone back and looked at work you did on 3 hours sleep? Good lord. I can’t imagine living your life in that sort of haze.

I’m usually too stupid about how I spend my late night hours to manage it during the week, but yeah. There’s something great about waking up before and of your responsibilities. That shit can wait, I need to drink coffee and read twitter.

I love waking up early on weekends because it is the best time to do stupid, time-wasting activities like video games absolutely guilt free. And also I can make pancakes.

Holy shit what time is it? How long have I been here? Why is it so dark outside?

Ah. I missed that one 

Basically.

Is HamNo an accelerationist? I can never tell.

The only thing better than the losing Democrat’s advice is the unemployed Republican’s advice for how the Democratic Party should win his vote.

The CFPB (or BCFP now, whatever) is basically the only useful thing to come out of the 2008 financial crisis and it is her signature issue. I hope she runs on Trump and the Republicans doing everything they can to defang the regulators meant to protect everyday Americans.

When making chicken salad out of chicken shit, just add Mayock.