This was one of the fake news stories on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me last weekend. Specifically that PETA (or some made up version of PETA) was protesting a dart tournament over the term “bullseye.” I am convinced they heard it and decided it would be a good marketing ploy.

Bring back effigies. A great American protest tradition.

I honestly used to think that only small children and drunks regularly left without washing their hands. I’ve heard people do it at the office while I was in the stall, and if I ever catch one of those monsters I’m going to ask what the fuck they’re doing to their face.

Are all nominees invited to the awards show?

It’s almost like resource allocation is determined by power relationships and relying on the largesse of the rich doesn’t work.

It’s way down the list but I want Trump held accountable for what he has done to the English language.

I hope he keeps the cornrows. I’m picturing him like CJ in GTA San Andreas just ballooning up.

You can’t get a max contract if you get far, though. I don’t think he doesn’t care at all, just that he doesn’t have any drive to be the best. It’s the only explanation that makes sense for his defense and rebounding. The rest could have alternative explanations. Those parts of his game are too bad for someone of his…

I don’t know if I agree completely, but one of my friends has the theory that he just doesn’t like basketball that much. I’m sort of coming around to that point of view. He’s got the physical tools to be great, but he also has enough tools to put in moderate effort and get paid a shitload of money. Such is life. Can’t…

Look, maybe he can’t shoot, but at least he plays lazy defense, doesn’t rebound, and has never averaged more than 2 assists per game.

Should have taken a page from Charlie Kirk and worn a diaper to own the libs.

[trying to explain to past self how “don’t blot out the sun” became a take necessary to write]

They’re going to get confused and pass a Brexit bill pulling us out of the EU.

Would Knickers wear his knickers on his hind legs or on all 4? And where could one purchase such gargantuan pants?

Fair. It’s a pretty bad one, though. It’s based on the premise that immigrants are a long term burden on a welfare state, which is just objectively untrue. It’s an even worse argument for developed nations with declining birth rates (Hi, Europe!), which will require the larger working age population provided by…

Supporting open borders in the US feels a lot like supporting criminal justice reform. It’s an ostensibly “left” position that is also supported by the libertarian right, and is complete without a home in either party. You can attribute it to the libs if you want, but the reality is that it is almost impossible to…

I’ve usually seen that as the right wing case for why you can’t have both.

Erick Erickson is Ham Rove with hair.

They should just use KenPom rankings. I don’t care if it doesn’t include win-loss records. It was better than RPI and it’s better than this.

There’s only one way forward for Blake: balloon up like Jared Lorenzen and make every touchdown a fat guy touchdown. He’s got the frame. He can carry the weight.