I think Cordarrelle reads Deadspin

Stink stank stunk is the only line that matters

That’s not unique to hosting any other holiday, though. Hosting people is work. It’s not like throwing the annual Christmas party or 4th of July BBQ is less work. But the holiday itself does not impose work beyond the necessities of hosting. You don’t need to do decorations and presents. You don’t need to get a bunch…

Thanksgiving is the best and most pure holiday. It cuts through all the bullshit. No rituals or extra responsibility. Just eating and spending time with family, the core elements of all holidays. It’s perfect.

Remember like 15 minutes ago when Beal and Wall were the most exciting backcourt in the league, it looked like Oubre and Porter might be taking steps, and the Wizards only needed a coach and something more than a corpse for a big to be a truly competitive team? Because it just happened and it feels like those games…

A fair point. I think the entertainment and fandom factor can exist outside of going to games (I, for instance, am a lifelong Vikings fan despite having gone to only 1 game over a decade ago), but I agree that you lose a lot of the value if average fans can’t attend in person.

The two most crushing, 1998 and 2009, were indoors. The two most embarrassing, 2000 and 2017, were outdoors. I guess you could add Walsh’s missed kick against the Seahawks, but they played outdoors that season so I’m not sure where it fits in.

I would say the corporate deals are worse. Although the monetary benefits accrue to an incredibly small base, there is at least some societal benefit to having local sports teams. The public benefits from that entertainment existing, much like having a robust local music or art scene. There’s at least an argument that…

The Vikings haven’t been bad historically, though? They’ve got at winning record since the Dome opened. And a better record than the Bears over that time. This theory would also ignore the existence of the Jets and Bills.

The Miami Marlins: You’ll Piss Blood

Friendship ended with Warriors.

Simmons just had to be thinking “save this shit for the group text, my dude” the entire time.

Reading Simmons’ responses in my head as being a confused deadpan and this seems great.

The poll workers at my station saw right through my fake mustache when I tried this. Probably because I put it on top of my regular mustache.

It’s true. This is why we let George Washington lead us through the war but wouldn’t let him inside the country.

Well shit. Thanks.

Is Karma TomatoFace? I haven’t been on Splintee in a while 

Both work but gormless sounds funnier 

“Let’s meet up for a glass of water and some saltines before you head back to Wisconsin. Talk about the good times, when people weren’t so familiar with what gormless shits we are.”

There is a reason I specified Julia Child’s version.