But that’s half the benefit of wearing an Oxford to work: the inevitable slight wrinkle is part of the look. I have a dozen white Oxfords from Brooks Brothers that I get dry cleaned, but actually throw them all in the dryer together before hanging them up each time — they’re softer, more comfortable, and perfectly…

I'm glad we're not friends so I don't have to be seen with you in the summer.

You know what I hate about Oxfords? They leave no room for plausible deniability when it comes to wrinkles; there’s no pattern to hide them and the stiff fabric wrinkles so badly that you can’t leave people to assume that the shirt got wrinkled under your coat or by a seatbelt or something.

It’s shortly after 10am on a Monday here in New York, and this is already the most disappointing thing I will most certainly watch for the rest of October. Fuck you, Billy.

You appear to have a mistaken impression of what laughter sounds like.

Username could be relevant to this story as well

No Brokers? Generally a little cheaper than Beefeater, same quality, and they give you that little Bowler hat on the cap!

“But I literally would sleep with a girl and then cry about it afterward. I’m like, ‘What am I doing? I don’t know what I’m doing.’”

Well, did the players at least implement Rick Pitino’s patented 15-second offense?

You used three sets of parentheses, but one period? You should not be in any school system.

*goes home to bang girlfriend*

Matthews: You ain’t Russell Wilson, bro!

“*crying* It’s not even food! It doesn’t taste good, it’s just plastic!” - Me eating Panera

Why is Ronaldinho still playing? Have you any idea how expensive Orthodontics can be without insurance, Billy?

I think you’re reading ridicule where there’s actually just bewilderment tinged with pity.

Ironically, the head of his penis is shaped like George Clooney’s hair.

Dang, that wasn’t even intended to be an insult.

god this is fucking sad

Probably no haircut in human history has communicated as devastating a summation of its owner’s entire life as the insane orange Moe Howard bowl cut sported by Oakland Raiders owner Mark Davis. Carve the shape of it into the wall of his father Al Davis’s mausoleum and it will tell a richer and truer story of heredity…

You’re right there is no way they could not hear that ping. It is such a distinctive sound.