It’s usually a highly advanced fitness tracking device that many clubs are using to monitor a player’s training performance - heart rate, oxygen processing, distance-covered, exertion, etc - to optimize performance and avoid injury.

Someone on the Twitter noted this looks like “the expression of a Disney Prince having just had his nuts smashed by a runaway fruit cart” which is absolutely perfect.

Genuine question for Deadspin editors: Do you track average time-spent on an article for your writers? Because for Haisley story I click on, I finish the first terrible paragraph, give a quick scroll to see how unnecessarily long it invariably is, and close the browser window having wasted no more than 7 seconds. I…

About eight years ago I shared a ground-level apartment with my then-girlfriend (now wife!) in Brooklyn Heights. From a couple Halloween’s earlier I had an old Yetti costume and wore it to hand out candy to the neighborhood kids in front of our place. At some point early in the evening, Jim Gaffigan stopped with his…

Ben Bithop

How would they do that? They don’t have a car, the buses don’t work and they live 26.219 miles away from the border.

Counterpoint: Deadspin doesn’t have too much soccer, but Deadspin soccer posts could each be approximately 80% shorter. Someone get Billy an editor.

The hockey stove is so fucking hot.

Hey good thing that ball wainwright above that bird.

This is a terrible story.

Moose Knuckle. It’s called a Moose Knuckle on a man.

Dear Best Fans in Baseball. STOP.

Bravo to KWTX!

So to clarify, we can ONLY use this on cats? Asking for a friend.

I too remember playing Rock, Paper, Scissors at Met games as a kid. My favorite player to compete with by far, was Dwight Gooden. He was always so easy to beat, as he went for the rock every single time.

Hey kid...fuck you!

Mine eyes have seen the glory and the coming of the Lord... *weeps*

“Peter, crouch.”

Here’s a “tip”, Drew: Stick to sports pal!!!1!1!!