It’s usually a highly advanced fitness tracking device that many clubs are using to monitor a player’s training performance - heart rate, oxygen processing, distance-covered, exertion, etc - to optimize performance and avoid injury.

Someone on the Twitter noted this looks like “the expression of a Disney Prince having just had his nuts smashed by a runaway fruit cart” which is absolutely perfect.

Genuine question for Deadspin editors: Do you track average time-spent on an article for your writers? Because for Haisley story I click on, I finish the first terrible paragraph, give a quick scroll to see how unnecessarily long it invariably is, and close the browser window having wasted no more than 7 seconds. I…

About eight years ago I shared a ground-level apartment with my then-girlfriend (now wife!) in Brooklyn Heights. From a couple Halloween’s earlier I had an old Yetti costume and wore it to hand out candy to the neighborhood kids in front of our place. At some point early in the evening, Jim Gaffigan stopped with his…

Counterpoint: Deadspin doesn’t have too much soccer, but Deadspin soccer posts could each be approximately 80% shorter. Someone get Billy an editor.

The hockey stove is so fucking hot.

Moose Knuckle. It’s called a Moose Knuckle on a man.

Here’s a “tip”, Drew: Stick to sports pal!!!1!1!!

Is it bad that we just skipped the “2nd kid:” step here and went directly to “3rd kid..” for our second?

I sit across from a very senior member of my company and just shot coffee out of my nose onto a white shirt and light trousers. My day is ruined.

Craig Ludwig and his ENORMOUS shin pads.

April 1, 2016: Deadspin’s finest, though perhaps final, hour.

“Chicks”? Ugh, Deadspin has become so sexist this morning.

Have any of you not eaten bananas before, and is willing to eat one on camera for us? Preferably slowly.

Man, watching this again after many years:

We’re going to have fantastic, yuuuuuge moose legs thrown onto the biggest, coldest, iciest sheets of ice you’ve ever seen. It’s going to be great!

(Headline from the linked article)

The poor bastard working morning shift at the Dunkin Donuts located exactly at the mid-point of my morning runs just shakes his head now at the sight of me dashing through to the toilet.

“I finished out the half. The pain was alright “