Setting The Record Straight: IRISH: THE FORGOTTEN WHITE SLAVES

I’d just like to note that Lieutenant Chris Wetter is much better than his predecessor Lieutenant Chris Wet.

Some people will do anything to get a shot at a wet beaver.

When I first saw Dirty Dancing, I was too young to even know what abortion was, so when Gerry (or Jerry?) Orbach said you cut up your girlfriend! I assumed Patrick Swayze had murdered and literally chopped up his girlfriend. I was a very literal minded child.

“Walking is for the poor.”

When using bullet points, don’t bullet the heading. That’s another tip you should dispense.

Part of my job is putting up signs notifying the public of upcoming rezoning hearings, and we have an enormous one coming up next week, so I spent nine hours Monday and Tuesday and another six Wednesday and Thursday walking around our whole city in my floppy hat and hiking boots putting up bright purple signs at…

Meanwhile, at JazzFest, even though it was the last day, I heard Zydeco, swamp rock, Kermit Ruffin’s tribute to Louis Armstrong and some gutbucket blues. I ate Shrimp and Grits, Shrimp Creole, Smoked Turkey and Alligator Sausage Gumbo, Begniets and Mango Freeze, washed down with iced and hot Cafe au Lait. I made a…

It’s just a pile of buzzwords on the edge of a grammatical cliff.

The Marxist in me has entertained the notion of capital punishment for white collar crimes

LET HE OR SHE WHO HAS NOT ACCIDENTALLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT MEMBERSHIP IN A NEO NAZI ORGANIZATION CAST THE FIRST STONE

Literally sharing ghoulish glee is the only reason I want to get married someday

We would have also accepted; “like, because it’s pretty fucking easy.”

Like, why would anyone try to actually scam us?

It also addresses his unrelenting need for ham.

Juice from a bro, or juice for a bro? Because one is a protein shake laced with Molly, and the other is called “Four Loko”.

+IV

I can’t imagine there’s anyone who wants to see Blink 182 in 2017 who doesn’t deserve this every day forever.

Hahhahah he wanted people to go to college and not be crushed by debt, sick burn

I get to inherit my mother’s Pfaff when she no longer has a use for it. No idea of the year. It was her mother’s before her though, so likely 40's? It’s a treadle machine- but not the foot treadle kind- it’s the kind you press to the side with your knee. It feels mildly pervy to use because you have to continuously…