1. “As Delightful As His Dad Was” is a pretty low bar.

Are you sure you were gay before you were baptized? Maybe this guy’s got it wrong and baptism doesn’t “cure” anything, it just changes orientation between gay and hetero.

My only regret is that I have but one star to give.

“pay your fair share and dispense with the fuckery already”

“she says as she posts a comment on Jez at work, though in her defense, she’s not POTUS!!!”

Why are you showering in your mother’s kitchen?

Fun fact: “pluggers” refers to the method of attaching the foot strap to the body/sole of the thong. See also “double pluggers” and “blowout”.

I gotta get myself one of those poet licenses.

Oh yeah, “normal teenager stuff”, right.

I really want to hear more of this story.

“it got under his skin like a guinea worm”

Umm... what?

“a wretched facsimile of a person”