Do you get a reflective vest?

As a man the only time I’ve ever commented on any of my many, many female coworkers’ looks is “Did you get a haircut? Looks nice!” I usually follow that up with “Sorry, is that weird to hear from a guy at work? I have three older sisters and they taught me to notice hair for some reason.”

I don’t need to admit I’m trash. I need to just not be trash. It’s so much simpler than people make it. I’m a white man. I don’t hate myself, surprisingly enough. I have a wife and kids who also don’t hate me. I just don’t do things that would make people hate me. Self-loathing is performative and useless.…

Freud really missed the mark there. 

I’ve had to train myself to appreciate silence. I inherited from my father an impulsive need to over-explain and repeat myself endlessly. I’ve been working on it for years and made real progress by realizing that concise responses aren’t rude, they’re valuable. Silence can also be a huge power play. I ask someone at…

AMEN. It’s actually become one of my go-to moves at work. I’ve become much more comfortable with silence than I used to be, so I have no problem sitting quietly. A boss of mine got a good dose of that once over the phone. The guy’s a real piece of work and I’ve found the fewer words I let out the better I can cope…

mazzieD said it really well. Honest and polite is the way to go. “Hey, could we finish this story later? I’ve got a lot on my plate right now.” Doing that enough times might actually draw the coworker’s attention to how often you’re having to resort to that tactic and, thus, to the real issue which is her chattiness.

I know this post is old but I just found it and have to weigh in.

The followup should be on the right of passage into true Dadhood with the development of the Dad Sneeze. You know the one.

Tommy Lee Jones speech seconded.

Sling it over your back with some 550 Paracord. Bayad Ayass.

We were seriously worried about our twin boys when they were younger because discipline seemed to slide off them like butter off teflon. As they’ve gotten older that has changed and they’re more receptive than they’ve ever been. Granted, they’re only 4 right now, but they’re WAY more manageable now than they were at 2…

What a great article! Michelle has some competition for the post of my favorite Offspring writer now. Well done!

I have twin pre-K boys. Dad voice still works on them unless they’re in what I call “Feral Mode.” Whether Feral Mode is initiated by glee or anger doesn’t matter, it just means they’re beyond words and only physical intervention will make a difference.

So if I loudly call for a lethal dose of prescription medication are we in real danger of it being delivered into my hands while we’re standing in front of Orange Julius? Is that your motivation for correcting the joke?

So true, and so wise on all sides. I was actually just gifted a ring by my dad that he inherited from his father. It’s yellow gold with antique inlay and a 3/4 carat diamond in it (according to him, no idea if it’s true or not). I held it up right next to my wife’s ring with her CZ and couldn’t tell the difference AT…

I have no idea. It’s just one I use every time drama’s about to drop. It totally looks like it could be him, though. I doubt it, but only kinda.

Yep. The last episode was a giant ball of fanservice. Oh, everyone gets exactly what they wanted out of life at the exact same time!

Except that Parks and Rec was superior in pretty much every way. After the first season, that is.

This sounds like sarcasm... but... I don’t even know anymore.