“Says here in your aptitude test results you’d be well-suited to a career as either a clergyman or a ballerina.” - My actual high school guidance counselor

“Oh, you want to pay me $20 million dollars to do an easy cash-grab action movie that makes me look awesome? But... what will the other millionaires think?” - No sane person ever

I just bark-laughed out loud at work. Thanks for that... :-/

I read the same thing about that being an ad-libbed line. That spit-take is TOO GOOD. Gimme The Rock over Tyrone Gobface every time.

All of this. Nachos, extra queso. No. MORE extra queso. I’ll be in the bathroom and loving every minute of it.

What about that movie where he’s all muscly and smiles real big?

Jim Carrey isn’t even getting Jim Varney money...

Jim Carrey isn’t even getting Jim Varney money...

You had me at “Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise.”

I liked Hawaii, too, I’m just not much of a beach guy. If I’m going to fly somewhere for a beach it’s going to be Cancun. Better sand, better food, MUCH shorter flight, and everything is cheaper.

Go. If you like food and relaxing, go. If you’re a “foodie” then don’t. The buffets are good, but food snobs will turn their nose up at the mere IDEA of a buffet. I, for one, can thoroughly enjoy me some ok-not-great eggs and bacon or popcorn shrimp as long as the supply is unlimited.

For me the ready availability of food is what put cruises over the top. Sure the ship is fun and there’s cool stuff to do and whatever, but you can EAT FOR FREE ANY TIME OF THE DAY OR NIGHT.

Just tell work your ship doesn’t have service. If they research it and find that it does tell them you’re on VACATION and they can go suck an egg.

Planning (n): The act of arguing with family and friends over what to do and when to do it, then arguing more about what to eat and where, then playing it all by ear anyway.

I hadn’t thought about that, but it’s a great point! Guaranteed accessibility on-board, room service, everything’s close... Another plus in the cruise column.

I’ve been to Hawaii twice and I would choose a cruise over Hawaii every single time. Cruise ships are built to maximize efficiency. They know they have thousands of people crammed into tiny spaces, but they’ve gotten SUPER good at managing all those people. The food lines move fast, they have a gajillion deck chairs…

Came here to gif this. Well done.

Little Caesar’s has two things going for it: Cheap hot and ready pizzas, and their deep dish is actually shockingly edible.

I’ve been on three cruises in my life, and I absolutely loved every single one of them, but I’m also not the misanthropic impatient snob the author seems to be. The food was good (not great, but good) and there was plenty of it. Free room service round the clock (order fresh-baked cookies to your room at midnight and…

I’ll be “part of the problem” as long as your head is in the sand regarding reality.