I’ll watch Cocaine Bear when it hits Disney+.

These are just people who own a property trying to make more money with that property by sprucing it up to attract younger buyers.

It’s unlocked.

Thank you for noticing I’m better. I always enjoy the attention.

I’ll never understand the people who see every conversation as an opportunity to list their property. Is it narcissism or aspergers?

Introducing the 2034 Ford F350.

Harlots and commies.

The real trick is to have no roads. The only way in and out is the company train.

This is completely unnecessary. 

The kids are making colonoscopy prep cool again.

So it is per post.

Is the tourist bureau paying you per post or you on salary?

We Have the Mints

In the game Henry shoots himself (in Pittsburgh instead of KC), fade to black, Joel and Ellie meet Tommy in Wyoming. That quick.

You want the old AV Club. That requires time travel.

Don’t spoonfeed my audience.

I tell them I’m allergic to children and cannot possibly encourage their continued existence in this dark, cold world.

That cheap circumcision turned out to be a real ripoff.

I bet the stack of resumes from qualified applicants for a job in Palo Alto is a damn sight thicker than to work in Buttfuckegypt, TX (don’t correct me as I truly don’t care.)

Nearly unlimited free shit to read on the internet is bound to lead to diminishing returns.