Smash that in my gob right now.

If it is anything like my $300 vibrating Bugatti buttplug I’m in!

$900! The worst part is that after all of that...you're in Boston. 

Eate ae dicke.

I would hot rod it with one of these fouling the grill (and possibly your ability to turn.)

Ball up pieces of paper and salt them. Same results. 

People who enjoy popcorn have a borderline case of Pica.

Hit me up. I'll give it the full Singer treatment. 

Bachelor Party (1984) was a much better film when I was a horny teenager.

An aging diabetic living on canned goods. The robot amputates his feet in the third act.

Ask hitchBOT. Poor little fella tried to survive Philly.

I think it'll be time to let The Root go if they don’t solve this self inflicted problem.

50% of comments on The Root lately are one troll farm dipshit run amok and the assclowns who keep giving him oxygen.

A copy of Leni Riefenstahl’s Triumph of The Will comes with every Triumph Scrambler.

It is where I met the girl with the purple hair and nose ring. She rocked my world and stole my stereo.

I bet people who really love Garfield also love Chris Pratt.

They always have been. The difference is the rest of all us have cameras now.

I’m commenting drunk. You wanna fight about it, bub?

Own less stuff.

How dare you!