#truth

^ This... I am a grumpy old existing in LA and I feel like Cochella style is basically capitalizing on what has been our version of Basic Cali Girl style for the last 3 to 5 years. My office is right near all the fancy shops on Robertson and I have been looking at this combo of shorty shorts, fringy boots, boxy top,…

my Coachella style is from the Gives No Fucks house of fashion. comfortable shoes, floppy hat, and layers layers layers to pile on once the sun goes down. I look like your Crazy Aunt Janet, but I'm the most comfortable lass on the polo field.

I'm going. I'm wearing normal-rise, underbutt-covering jean shorts, a (not cropped, not in any way cut up) white teeshirt, and Converse. Fin.

You have a bulletproof soul.

In the summer of 2013, I had spent 8 Very Long, Very Hard years in graduate school and was a mere two weeks away from defending my Ph.D. My monogamous husband of 8.5 years went over to visit our closest couple friends' of 5 years house to drink and play video games while I worked on all of my dissertation shit.…

as a too-old-to-throw-tantrums child, 8 or 9, after a day hiking, Dad would not let me bring my walking stick home in the car. My filthy, rotting, branch I'd been using as a walking stick. Complete meltdown, screaming sobbing in the mud;

LOL, "driving in the left lane," love it. I live in SoCal, there are parts of the 15 where you will be run over and killed if you aren't going AT LEAST 75

says the lady who went to cpac

Can I just say that I love features like this so very much—Jezebel is at its best when people in the comments get inspired to tell stories they have, and Jez readers have some GREAT, funny/bizarre/scary/sad/amazing stories. Love storytime.

Oh thank GOD I was like... shit, I am the laziest mother fucker in the WORLD and spend most of my day in bed (am on sick leave so kinda ok, maybe... but I tend to anyway?) and eat shitty food and bogart the tv for crap tv and leave my everything everywhere and my partner is just THERE, while I pick my nose and…

Yes, exactly!

That black and white swimsuit is so hot. But unless it's got cups sewn in, I would look droopy as fuck and it would be aesthetically unpleasant.

I picked up a lumberjack by walking up to him, snapping his suspenders and saying, "Why are you even wearing these? They're not doing anything." He said, "They're holding up my pants." and I said, "Well maybe they shouldn't be."

My siblings and I used to play a game called "Suicide." First, you have to know that we lived in one of those old buildings that had ledges in front of the windows that were wide enough for an adult to walk on (although carefully) so it was no problem for a kid to stand on. Second, we lived in an apartment building…

i feel like jez writers are masters of the tags and i rly need to start paying more attn

A jumbotron proposal would have legitimately been one of my worst nightmares. I practically have a panic attack every time I'm at a hockey game and the kiss cam comes on. However I am cool with my adorable child being featured on the big screen. But I just hate being put on the spot. Apparently at the Avs game on…

It does, and there's also a high probability that the strap edges are going to maul the tops of my feet. But, I figure for thirty bucks of cute, it's worth getting them and hitting them with moleskin and/or foot petals or non-slip pads or whatever. If they're not miserable, I'm absolutely ordering the same ones in the…

I bought mine at Spirit Beauty Lounge because I specifically wanted one made by The Konjac Company, and the shipping was cheap. I did some research and read they were one of the original companies to make it, the quality was supposedly much better, and also I knew for sure they were cruelty free (unlike a random…

Addition: While drunk fishing with friends, I without a sufficient amount of attention reached down for my delicious delicious beer. I quaffed it heavily. And a second too late realized my grave mistake. I was drinking from my boyfriend's cigarette bottle, meaning there were maybe 8 cigarette butts into two inches of…