Hey everyone! I’m so glad to be SNS-ing tonight because I’m alive, and home from a week in a local hospital’s ICU! Things looked grim a week ago, when the doctor in the ER thought that I had had not one but two heart attacks, and in any event, I was in heart failure. Right??? Terrifying!

Not to get all “but meh hockeh, pleez like it” but defensemen in hockey routinely have to put their faces in front of 90 mph slapshots and all manner of wayward hockey stickt when they’re not getting embarrassed by much more fleet-footed, creative and generally sexy forwards. Look at Sergio Ramos’ face (try not to get…

Just give me a cookie and a paper business card and get out of my face. I hate promotional trash.

What’s the best solution without giving employees multiple breaks?

Eh. I think Andy is the worst, always, and Bethenny sucks in general, but Carole really did herself no favors this season. Yeah, editing and blah blah blah, but she took her cool girl persona a bit too far and from what I’ve heard (I don’t follow her) it doesn’t really mesh with how she acts on social media. I think…

did you get the crispy edge noodles? I can't move forward without crispy edge noodles. 

One minor clarification on this:

I think that’s normal & healthy, so that’s great! A girl I liked in high school sent me a FB friend request (pretty sure it was just because she was in an MLM and she needed fresh victims) and I spiraled hard.

Oh whoa, hot take alert, somebody is about to drop some knowledge about prison abolition on Drew’s weekly dumb jokes column. 

I reached the same conclusion using a different metric: the band Tool used the word “belly” in a lyric. They would never in a million years use tummy. 

Also true for all of the Real Housewives. 

Putting clothespins on power cords to save money by keeping electricity from escaping as waste is one of the stupidest fucking things I’ve ever heard. If people who believe this have kids that go to your kid’s school, you need to find your kid a new school.

I think she was canceled and is now in syndication. 

True.

Eat it standing in front of the open fridge door.

After having my own apartment for seven years and having enough $$ to have a dog for at least as long, I finally adopted a doggo yesterday! Her name is BB and she is very cute and loving. She even came potty trained! Her only “flaw” is some separation anxiety, so I’m a bit anxious about work on Monday, but I have a…

the Nyx pencil is nice! I don’t buy it much as I’ve switched to using a brow tint instead of a pencil, because I find even the NYX pencil to be outrageously priced for what you get (I have yet to figure out why brow pencils are so much more expensive than eyeliner.  It’s not because they more costly to produce!). But…

Apparently Drew’s mom has an adam’s apple.

Diapers and wipes are #1.