especially when you’re an “expiring before our very eyes” asset such as the Honorable Derplefuck from Ohio.

someone please come get this geriatric derp and inform him that “draft dodging” ain’t a thing in 2017

they’re also going to be upset when it dawns on them that they’ve spent their entire lives believing in magic

Mason O’Shaughnessy

It’s the vintage version of:

Right up there with Bramden Hickenbocken

Fuck these fucking people. Let her smoke weed, she lives in Houston which is the taint of America.

Barstool Sports is a “media company” founded in Massachusetts ergo it’s fucking garbage.

This belongs in Deadspin HOF

lol either a handslap or the death penalty. THERE IS NO INBETWEEN, AMIRITE!?!?

Can we all refer to this biddy as “Kylie” for posterity. She’s clearly on the TamiTrain as well.

How I Met Your Brother — Never mind, forgot he’s still unemployed and hooked on meth in fucking Florida. #KylieTVShows

Kayleigh? Kay-leigh? K. Lee. ? TF is up with white folks and their Ebonics sounding-ass names in the 21st century? It’s almost as if they’re just trolling at this point

Fake News? How bout dem fake AF lips homegirl is rocking?

4 Roses, duh

Nope, dude is down to be Derp-in-Chief for the entire term. Onus is on congressional GOP to remove his dick from their throats.

like looool, what is this payaso thinking? Earlier this year when Trump threatened to take away federal funds from California, Gov. Jerry Brown was like “Ayyooo, aight bruh. Considering we pay the Fed more $$ than we receive, you can go all the way fucking yourself!”

re: fucking Goldman...”two tours of duty”? Go fuck yourself you winning-by-defualt Yankee scum. Likening working at a fucking iBank as going on an actual *war* tour of duty, FOH

Lol

Roem has developed a reputation for doing the “door-to-door stuff” Marshal eschews, working to gain support on a face-to-face basis since winning the Democratic nomination.