Fortunately, with the odd exception like OP’s lunatic professor, most professors assign arbitrary minimum lengths because they’re too lazy to do the actual work of reading and grading papers. They’re not going to do extra work to catch you; that would defeat the purpose.

The length requirement exists to force the worst students to do more work without requiring the teacher to actually pay attention to its quality. No decent professor uses it, because the best writers will struggle the most to reach it.

You’re a goddamned hero.

This is for national emergencies. There is no way to defend against a nuclear attack so all that would do is cause panic, and a flash flood at the national level would truly be something to behold. Also you wouldn’t get the text because every cell tower in the U.S. would be wiped out.

Weather alerts are local. If the United States has a national weather emergency, we’ll be far enough into the shit that it’s unlikely our phones will still be working.

Well there’s the fact that there is no credible situation in which an alert like this would be useful which makes it a colossal waste of time and money.

Yeah, it’s totally unreasonable for people to be concerned about the potential for abuse of a system by a person who abuses every system he can get his hands on.

I can simultaneously believe that Mia Farrrow was shitty and/or abusive to her non-biological children and that Woody Allen is a sexual predator. The two are not mutually exclusive, despite the effort by Merkin and Previn to say that they are.

Manafort may literally know where the bodies are buried. We can only hope.

Automatic vote by mail makes it much easier on workers and the disabled, but you’re right. It should be both.

It also asks how often the person goes to church, so apparently atheists can’t be good friends by their measure.

Fuck kind of Ayn Rand bullshit is this?

You own a fucking car so maybe you oughta climb down off that high horse.

Held up for the most part? Texas vs. Azar is going to invalidate all that remains of it.

Barack Obama never supported and never attempted to pass a public option. Congress tried to put one in.

Who says she was sober when she was at work? Lots of cops aren’t.

Being a cop is half as dangerous as being a farmer. There is no reason for cops to be as recklessly terrified as they are.

Oh you’re one of those “just don’t live” people.

Korea was a bullshit war. After being viciously subjugated by Japan, the Korean people were liberated for about 30 seconds before the U.S. and Soviet puppets both declared themselves the rightful rulers of the entire peninsula. The Korean people, as badly treated by Japan as Poland had been by Germany, were caught…

The only person I know who uses bitmoji is my elderly mother. Granted, I do not know any people under 14.